moving my mum to a new house nearer my brother - but she won;t want to go. How do we do it?

[Louhan]

my mum's dementia has just worsened and although she can still cook and look after herself, she is now very confused about who everyone is, she is losing things in the home and her confusion is constant rather than in and out. my brother and i live a long way from her but he has a bungalow one mile from his house, that we can move her to. I know she didn't want to move there a year ago when he suggested it but she has significantly worsened and I think being close to a family member is much better. We have both LPAs so can make the decision but does anyone have any guidance on how we actually move her?

 

[nitram]

Suggest she moves there for a break (Christmas?) and then find her house needs major repairs.

 

[SeaSwallow]

Hello @Louhan and welcome to the Dementia Support Forum. First of all I am sorry to read about your mum’s dementia, it must be difficult to deal with from a distance.
While I can see that it might be a good idea to move your mum closer to your brother I am wondering if the move to a new house in a new area is a good idea especially as you say that she is constantly confused.
Rather than a move to a new house it might be time to think about residential care.

 

[Louhan]

Hello @Louhan and welcome to the Dementia Support Forum. First of all I am sorry to read about your mum’s dementia, it must be difficult to deal with from a distance.
While I can see that it might be a good idea to move your mum closer to your brother I am wondering if the move to a new house in a new area is a good idea especially as you say that she is constantly confused.
Rather than a move to a new house it might be time to think about residential care.

thanks, it is difficult isn;t it because i know she doesn't want to go into residential care either and I've no idea how you 'make' someone do that. she thinks she's fine, i'm sure its a common story.

 

[Sarasa]

Welcome to Dementia Support Forum @Louhan. Before you decide to make the move to the bungalow permanent I think a 'holiday' there would be a good idea. If your mum is confused in a house she has lived in a while she is likely to be more confused in a new home. Also if you live some distance from her you are probably not seeing everything that is going on as your mum is probably putting on a good face when you do chat to her or meet her for a short time. A short break in the bungalow will tell you if the idea will work or not.
Your mother is unlikely to ever want to move into care, but in the end her needs will trump her wants.