Hi, This is my first visit today and already, having read several messages, I have tears in my eyes. I have just read Adrian M's message about moving his mother to a home near to him as apposed to finding a suitable home near to her friends. My sister and I are just deliberating over a similar situation. My mum was diagnosed with early dementia 18 months ago. She took herself off to her GP having her own concerns about her memory (in particular losing a whole day while on holiday). She went on her own for a brain scan and other tests and only told me when her Consultant said he would like to speak to us. She has never been one for dwelling on ill health, quite the opposite. She has been very independent since my father died nearly 15 years ago. She walks regularly, goes on holidays is in several groups and helps out in a local charity shop. Me and my daughter stayed with her for a few months while my husband was renovating our new home and it was at the same time that she had taken herself off to be investigated. I did notice at the time that she was more forgetful but I put that down to us being around and interupting her routine. I had to repeat things that were happening lots of times and she would often ring me at work to clarify what was going on later that day. I was with her when the Consultant visited her for the first time at home and I found his attitude disturbing at the time. He seemed to make my mam feel very small and she looked so old and fragile in his company. I was even cross when she lost a point because she said it was winter instead of autumn( it was a cold wet wintery day in October) Winter apparently didn't start until the 31st!! Still I guess he had his reasons and a protocol to follow. She scored enough points to be able to start on medication but the word "dementia" was never really used. I only saw it on a letter from the hospital under her problem list. She also has diabetes although this is controlled by diet at the moment. Any way since that time she has been ok - though sometimes seeming a little depressed. Her GP tells her she needs to get out more!!. I speak to her regularly and visit every week as does my sister and sister in law. I have two brothers who visit when they can as well. She has many friends, but she dosn't like to bother them - "they are all so busy" so she does spend quite a bit of time on her own and she seems sad when I speak to her at these times and I am filled with guilt. She has to sit a yearly driving test and she is dreading losing her licence which she knows will come. I have just come back from a short break visiting family and while there I noticed a big change in mums condition/personality. She just seemed very withdrawn alot of time in company and would sit saying nothing and answering in questions in just a yes or no. Her behaviour sometimes was child like when thing wern't going her way or her routine changed (especially around food) I won't go into detail I could still be writing tomorrow. My daughter of 6 sometimes had to take a back seat so that we could keep mam happy. She was constantly losing her glasses and handbag. I came home feeling very guilty that i had been so fustrated with her at times and telling my husband and sister I felt like I was discussing mam behind her back and felt so awful but I had to off load what had been happening. This in some ways has made me feel a bit stronger though as I realise now that she is really suffering from this horrible condition and i at last had the courage to discuss with her that she may be better off moving to somewhere where she will have more company all the time if she wants it. She always said that she would move when she was unable to look after her house, but now I think that she would benefit from having people around her now - not when she is physically unable to look after her home. If she waits to long, she won't get the benefit of company as her mind may not be as able then. I think she needs to be somewhere where she can socialise while able to appreciate it. I don't mean move her into a home but somewhere like sheltered accommodation/warden controlled. For her own benefit. She has been to look at a place near to where she lives now and likes it and has put her name down. What I am not sure about is - could this make her condition worse, the stress of moving, although we would sort all that side out for her, I know she will start to worry about everything and would this be worse for her that staying where she is and being lonely at times? I could sit and write all day as there are so many things to say but I feel better already having got all of this written down and look forward to hearing your comments.