1. lexie1968

    lexie1968 Registered User

    Nov 1, 2013
    17
    My siblings and i decided dad needed to be somewhere more safe and secure than the family home he had lived in for 30 years, and so moved him to a flat in an assisted living complex. Hes been there nearly 2 weeks, and things have gone drastically wrong. For the last week he has become very confused, and having what can only be described as panic attacks. Hes been wandering the corridors, going into other peoples flats, shouting, getting very agitated. We called the gp who has given him some antidepressants to try and calm him down, but they are making him more confused. We also contacted the memory clinic he was diagnosed at, and tried to get the cpn to come out, which took 2 days. He said it was an infection, but we had already had that ruled out by the gp. We dont know what to do. We cant have him doing this, the place hes in isnt a care home, so arent obliged to look after him. Obviousely its the move thats done it, but how do we stop it?
     
  2. starryuk

    starryuk Registered User

    Nov 8, 2012
    1,299
    Hi Lexie,

    Sorry to hear that your dad is so confused and agitated at the moment. You mentioned a few months ago that your dad wandered constantly about his old home. I wonder if he thinks the new complex is that home, still wanders and doesn't realize that other rooms belong to other people. Maybe he shouts at them to get them out of 'his home'. It must be scary for your dad if he thinks his home is being invaded by intruders.

    My mum did that at her CH, but usually when she was brewing some kind of infection. Did your GP get a urine sample when he checked your dad?

    Not that all that is of any help to you. If it was me, I think I would visit (and get others) as often as possible, do normal things and eat with him etc in the flat, in the hope that he will eventually recognise his flat as home.

    What a nightmare.
     
  3. Patricia Alice

    Patricia Alice Registered User

    Mar 2, 2015
    179
    The exact same thing happened to my mum. She had lived in the same home / street for 71 years, then one Saturday whilst I was on holiday she was robbed in a distraction burglary. We then moved her to a sheltered flat close by and she would not stay in the flat, she walked the corridors, into other flats, locked herself outside the building because she did not know how to use the key fob. Anyway after 12 months we were asked to move her to a low category care home, unfortunately she never settled there either and her dementia has progressed to nursing dementia.

    What I am trying to say is the shock of the move will fade and I sincerely hope it does, but you may find they will be calling you to come round all the time (like the sheltered flats did with us), in the end we were there more than we were at home.

    Just take each day at a time but it would not hurt to source care homes ready for the future.

    I hope he settles soon.
     
  4. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    15,975
    Toronto, Canada
    I think that something that isn't always recognized is the fact that moving someone to a new home can very cruelly show how the person can no longer form new memories or learn new information. So your father may be going into other people's flats because he simply cannot figure out where his is.

    Two weeks is a very short period of time in terms of adjusting. It took my mother about 2 months before she stopped packing up her clothes every single day. I can't really remember it all, as she was diagnosed January 3, 2001 and it's been a long road since.

    Your father will settle in time but he needs much more time. Sorry, I'm not much help.
     

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