move or stay

[RSA]

Hi all I've just joined this forum and would like some help. My Mum has just been diagnosed with mild Vascular dementia, but does seem at moment getting worse. The big problem I live about 72 miles away from her my brother lives over 100 She does live in shelter accommodation so they do provide a lot of support, but she does spend a lot of time in her flat alone, She's lived in the area she's in most of her life so got lots of friends there. I go down once a month to see her and sort things out my brother goes down every 2 months. Now she seems to be getting worse we were wondering whether to discuss with her and move her to be near me in a care home so I can visit 3,4 times a week. Please any help or advice would be gratefully accepted.
Thank you

 

[elizabet]

Had the same challenge although I lived 260 miles away from Mum and am an only child. Decided in the end that the best thing for my Mum was to move her into a care home in her home town as she knew some of the other residents and some very good friends all over 65 would be able to visit her. Yes, it meant me driving up every month but felt if I moved her to a home near me she would have no visitors apart from myself and nothing e.g landmarks ,scenery and the countryside would be unfamiliar for her if I took her out for a drive. Mum thrived in the care home and had a happy 8 months there until she sadly died from pneumonia and a hospital caught infection in hospital,
It depends on lots of factors-where on the dementia journey your Mum is, would her current friends visit her if in a care home in her town. if she is capable of deciding where she lives for herself, how you and your brother feel about continuing to drive to see her etc not an easy decision to have to make but better to think things through before there is some kind of crisis and you have to act in a hurry.