Mothers day:Tribute to our mums

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by allylee, Mar 17, 2007.

  1. allylee

    allylee Registered User

    Feb 28, 2005
    west mids
    A few weeks ago my mum said to me"Im so glad you Ive got you as my mum".
    I guess all of us in this position have experienced this major role reversal to some degree.
    Feeling a bit melancholy cos of Mothers Day looming, I was thinking about my mum, the woman that she was, and the woman she is now.
    I have a new mum these last three years with the occasion glimpse of my "old mum", changed, different,vulnerable, but still so very much loved.
    So to all us real mums, mums by proxy and our mums, love to you all on Mothers Day
    Ally xx.
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    What a lovely thought Ally. I hope it includes mums to husbands too.

    With love
  3. Kayla

    Kayla Registered User

    May 14, 2006
    Mother's Day

    Dear Allylee,
    This morning as I walked the dogs, I was feeling quite depressed about Mother's Day, but your post made me smile and has cheered me up.
    My mother-in-law died last year in June, so this is our first Mother's Day without her and it seemed very strange not to buy her a card or a present.
    My Mum has no idea whether it is Mother's Day or not, but I'm sure she'll enjoy her pink roses and her chocolates (by the same name). It seems so sad to lose our Mums as they were, and only have fond memories of how things used to be.
    I am trying to write a novel at the moment, based on my experiences of my Mum and the implications of caring for somebody at home, or in a care or nursing home. I've nearly written 10,000 words, but I'm finding it quite sad. I hope in the future, if it were to be published, it might help other people in a similar situation.
    There seem to be so many people around who have been affected by dementia in some way, that it is strange that there is so much ignorance about the condition.
    Best wishes
  4. Zadok

    Zadok Registered User

    Mar 15, 2006

    Keep writing!
    It would be really good to read such a novel as so many experiences of caring are similar and can help carers. This TP is an example.................but a novel would be a great way to help the general public as well to understand just what Alzheimer's and the related conditions are like.
  5. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    NW England
    Mother's Day thoughts

    Hi allylee ….. I confess I have ducked out of the card shops this year until today - just couldn’t face the emotions until the ‘last minute’ urgency of the situation forced me into it …… so, big deep breath - decide I am braving one shop and one shop only - head for the biggest card I can see … quick check the words not too slushy so we don’t both break down tomorrow ….. not quite the ‘thought and effort’ most people make, I know ……

    But then, after starting off the morning cursing on the supermarket car park (like the Christmas Eve bun fight - grumble, grumble, :mad: commercialism :rolleyes: , grumble, grumble) occurred to me that folk are out in droves today buying cards and flowers because they have been ‘prompted’ to tell/show their mums how much they love them …. me - and many here in all our different circumstances - give that ‘thought and effort’ every day and show our love and appreciation … for a moment there shrugged of the guilt monster and felt quite proud ……:)

    I love that ‘proxy’ slant on the day … not just for ‘mums’ per se - but all the carers who find themselves ‘mothering’ ….. thanks … will help me and no doubt many others through what is quite a difficult weekend….

    Love Karen, x
  6. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    Hiya all,
    Faced the card stall earlier in the week - tried to look on my own, but couldn't - had to wait for eldest son to arrive and search the shelves - verse simply says "with love" - says it all really.
    This morning, been out for a walk with the dog, to a place that was mine and mums's - used to take her there when she was well enough. We'd walk and then go and sit on a particular bench for 5 or 10 minutes - talking to a trusted friend on the phone made it OK to go and sit there again - it is so hard to think back, to allow those bittersweet memories space - to occasionally be prepared to feel the pain.
    So, this weekend is going to be painful for so many of us - but we have each other, and know that we are not alone in what we are feeling.
    Take care, and be kind to yourselves.
    Love Helen
  7. Libby

    Libby Registered User

    May 20, 2006
    North East
    Glad to hear that I'm not the only one looking for a 'Non-slushy card' A lot of the words in cards just seem so painful in the current situation.

  8. road2nowhere

    road2nowhere Registered User


    Sadly this is the first year that My Mum will not be around for me to give her a card. As I stated in my other post, she passed away 10 days ago - I had already given her the silk flower arrangement and the "No.1 Mum" teddy that I had bought for her, so that she could at least have the opportunity to appreciate them. I had also bought a card – the “slushiest” one ever (we never did the “emotional” thing – we just “knew”). This card said everything that I wanted to say, but just couldn’t tell her because of her condition. The Funeral Director was marvellous – I’d written the card and asked him if it could be included in the coffin, along with the teddy. He agreed. I know she never saw it in this life, but I hope that she knew just how much I love her and will miss her.


  9. soulsmilin

    soulsmilin Registered User

    Feb 13, 2007
    Tyne and wear
    For those with mothers no longer here in the present physical sense, a mothers love does not dissolve it is given freely and with you always, here is some thing that may help, light a candle or put a flower next to a nice picture of them, and have a chat, a special time that you can remember or what you miss and admire about them, and that you love them, it really is amazing the peace and comfort that you can feel.

    My own mother as a carer I find, continues to amaze me with her generosity of spirit and strengh.

    happy mothers day to all.

  10. alex

    alex Registered User

    Apr 10, 2006
    I'm not in this situation, but just wanted to say that my thoughts (and i'm sure many others here too) are with all those who are hurting today, just wanted to say we do care.

    Love Alex x
  11. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    So sorry to hear that you lost your mum. The first mother's day is so hard. I'm glad you amnaged to give your mum the card and teddy, and I know she knew how much you loved her.

    Take care of yourself,

  12. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    Please can I say that mother's day is also hard for those of us who have lost sons and daughters. That missing card is the one we never forget. Please, think of us too.
  13. noelphobic

    noelphobic Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    I'm really stuck for what to say here Hazel, except that I do realise it must be terribly hard. My first child was stillborn 21 years ago and the pain of that loss will never really leave me. My biggest fear is that something will happen to my son who was born two and a half years after my daughter. His diagnosis of type 1diabetes in May 2004 shook me to the core and is not something I will ever completely come to terms with.

    On a happier note, he is due home from uni today and it will be the first time I have seen him for 10 weeks (not that I'm counting!) So, the best mother's day present I could possibly have.

    I hope today is as good as it can be for you Hazel, and for any mother who has ever lost a child, at whatever age and in whatever circumstances.

    Take care
  14. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    Sorry before I start - this is a personal post, self indulgent
    I had safely booked mum a two hour slot in my day today - functional - go at a time that I could feed her - be busy, have others around - she doesn't know me, so purely for me to do my duty. Minimise the hurt.
    But this may well be the last Mothers Day that we share - and is that what I really want. No I want to go and spend the rest of the afternoon with her, be with her, dare to remember, dare to feel - tell her how special she is, how loved she is.
    Thanks for listening.
    Love Helen
  15. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Dear Helen,

    If you want to take the time to be with your mother today, then take it. This is what Mother`s day is about, and the last thing you want are regrets.

    Be self indulgent for once.

    With love
  16. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    Oh Helen, how wonderful that you feel like that. Don't apologise, I'm so glad you shared with us.

    Go and indulge. Make the most of every moment, they're so precious.

    Love and hugs,
  17. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Dear Hazel,

    There can be nothing more heartbreaking than the gap left by the death of a child, today on Mother`s Day, and on all red letter days throughout the year.

    Your post was a message that hit home.

    With love
  18. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    Well I wish it could be mother day every Sunday :) :rolleyes: , my daughter stayed the night , so mum woke her up at 6 am for breakfast , even thought my daughter woke me up saying that she can’t make porage in the pan:eek: :rolleyes:
    Only in a microwave , I did do not buy that type for my mum .
    so I told her to make cornflakes and toast , then I went back to sleep and I woke up at 9am and put dinner on , then my other daughter got up and I got some lovely flowers. and lovely
    Perfume from my older daughter and a
    surprise at 6pm we are going out for a meal , but my younger daughter told me what the surprise is, my older daughter is going to take me out for a meal and my younger daughter going to look after mum .

    so have to look surprise to night , my older daughter will go mad , if she new her younger sister told me :eek: :D oh and they made me breakfast, while I gave my mother her flowers and she just said how nice they are and what is for dinner .

    yes Mother day should be every sunday ( as if )
  19. allylee

    allylee Registered User

    Feb 28, 2005
    west mids
    Oh Margarita,
    what a lovely treat for you.

    Enjoy every second, you deserve it
    Ally xx
  20. cynron

    cynron Registered User

    Sep 26, 2005
    east sussex
    Mothering Sunday

    Dear Nada.

    must just say today is not a "made up day". It is actualy MOTHERING SUNDAY a religious day tied up to Easter thats why it is on a different day each year like Easter Sunday.

    The U S A has it on another day and call it MOTHERS DAY and have made it commercial.

    Years ago when children went to church on this day they would come home with a posy of flowers for Mum. I think most C OF E churches still have this tradition.

    Cynron x x

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