Hi all,
I'm new here. I signed up today. I saw this thread whilst I was searching on Google and wanted just to share my experience. I am hoping it will help me feel better.
I am 31 and I care for my mother who was diagnosed with variant primary progressive aphasia (svPPA) (semantic dementia) in 2016. I am supposed to be going to Portugal on Wednesday and have been asking for respite care before Xmas.
A home hasn't been found yet as the social worker didn't complete the forms until I reminded her. My mother does not want to go into a home as she is scared. I'm scared about it.
The fear isn't the real issue, its the guilt. I've always given everything up for my mother. Friends, Uni, jobs etc. She cannot understand why I wouldn't just cancel the holiday to stay with her. She struggles to communicate and I just watch her looking sad about the fact that I am leaving her and that makes me want to cancel my holiday. It doesn't help that the social worker is useless ~(I am a social worker so that's odd to say) and doesn't tell me anything unless I chase her down.
There are those odds moments when I wish I could just disappear. If I did, I would not need to deal with the guilt, the decisions, the responsibility, the terror, the lack of hope. Of course, I cannot disappear because I feel guilty about doing that.
Reading this has been helpful to help me know that I am not a terrible daughter. even though that is a daily feeling. Funny that, I care for her on my own, with no family, whilst working full time and I feel life a failure.
Londoner x
I'm new here. I signed up today. I saw this thread whilst I was searching on Google and wanted just to share my experience. I am hoping it will help me feel better.
I am 31 and I care for my mother who was diagnosed with variant primary progressive aphasia (svPPA) (semantic dementia) in 2016. I am supposed to be going to Portugal on Wednesday and have been asking for respite care before Xmas.
A home hasn't been found yet as the social worker didn't complete the forms until I reminded her. My mother does not want to go into a home as she is scared. I'm scared about it.
The fear isn't the real issue, its the guilt. I've always given everything up for my mother. Friends, Uni, jobs etc. She cannot understand why I wouldn't just cancel the holiday to stay with her. She struggles to communicate and I just watch her looking sad about the fact that I am leaving her and that makes me want to cancel my holiday. It doesn't help that the social worker is useless ~(I am a social worker so that's odd to say) and doesn't tell me anything unless I chase her down.
There are those odds moments when I wish I could just disappear. If I did, I would not need to deal with the guilt, the decisions, the responsibility, the terror, the lack of hope. Of course, I cannot disappear because I feel guilty about doing that.
Reading this has been helpful to help me know that I am not a terrible daughter. even though that is a daily feeling. Funny that, I care for her on my own, with no family, whilst working full time and I feel life a failure.
Londoner x