Hi,
I was hoping to get some support and thoughts on my situation.
My partners mother P has suffered physical illness (osteoporosis, digestive illness, strokes) and mental ill health (depression) but her health has declined. She has been tested for dementia and is developing the symptoms, although she refuses to admit it. P is in her late sixties and although she sees her GP regularly, she abuses her prescription medication and will lie to medical staff so she can continue her 'independence'.
Her personality and moods are badly affected. P is disinhibited and prone to saying rude things. She takes risks with her safety. She has poor memory and loses things. She has problems with hoarding. Her concentration is shot and her ability to plan and complete daily tasks is reduced. She refuses to use a walking aid, wear her hearing aids or glasses. She has had five falls this year (breaking her ribs and foot) and tends to avoid going to the GP when she is unwell. Instead she will wait until the evening and call us, inevitable we have to taxi her to A&E or call an ambulance. Last time I went I asked the nurse if the record listed dementia - P was getting confused and agitated about how blood tests and urine tests happen - and the nurse said that there was no note on the file but also that my comment made sense wit how mother in la was presenting. P has been to the memory clinic and had scans regarding her strokes so either the diagnosis isn't firm or she has another issue. Regardless of this, no medical professional seems worried that she has ten prescription items (painkillers and occasionally benzos) or that she keeps failing/being admitted for inappropriate stuff.
My partner and I get along great and have had four loving years together. P tends to manufacture drama, she has banished my sister in law (and her own grandkids) for silly small upsets and the family capitulate to whatever my mother in law wants. She is paranoid that my father in law is cheating on her and while he refuses to divorce her, he is in denial and refuses to step in. P can be loud, rude, unpredictable and manic one day and then exhausted and tearful the next. She is incredibly secretive and often confides in us things that make me worry about how safe she is. She refused to let anyone help her.
My partner and his family are unwilling to step in and contact P's doctor. If I do it, I am worried I'll be cut off like my sister in law. My partner is fighting hard to gain her trust and I'd feel crappy if my acting on this means he loses his family. Without any support from his family and a GP who seems oblivious, what can I do?
I was hoping to get some support and thoughts on my situation.
My partners mother P has suffered physical illness (osteoporosis, digestive illness, strokes) and mental ill health (depression) but her health has declined. She has been tested for dementia and is developing the symptoms, although she refuses to admit it. P is in her late sixties and although she sees her GP regularly, she abuses her prescription medication and will lie to medical staff so she can continue her 'independence'.
Her personality and moods are badly affected. P is disinhibited and prone to saying rude things. She takes risks with her safety. She has poor memory and loses things. She has problems with hoarding. Her concentration is shot and her ability to plan and complete daily tasks is reduced. She refuses to use a walking aid, wear her hearing aids or glasses. She has had five falls this year (breaking her ribs and foot) and tends to avoid going to the GP when she is unwell. Instead she will wait until the evening and call us, inevitable we have to taxi her to A&E or call an ambulance. Last time I went I asked the nurse if the record listed dementia - P was getting confused and agitated about how blood tests and urine tests happen - and the nurse said that there was no note on the file but also that my comment made sense wit how mother in la was presenting. P has been to the memory clinic and had scans regarding her strokes so either the diagnosis isn't firm or she has another issue. Regardless of this, no medical professional seems worried that she has ten prescription items (painkillers and occasionally benzos) or that she keeps failing/being admitted for inappropriate stuff.
My partner and I get along great and have had four loving years together. P tends to manufacture drama, she has banished my sister in law (and her own grandkids) for silly small upsets and the family capitulate to whatever my mother in law wants. She is paranoid that my father in law is cheating on her and while he refuses to divorce her, he is in denial and refuses to step in. P can be loud, rude, unpredictable and manic one day and then exhausted and tearful the next. She is incredibly secretive and often confides in us things that make me worry about how safe she is. She refused to let anyone help her.
My partner and his family are unwilling to step in and contact P's doctor. If I do it, I am worried I'll be cut off like my sister in law. My partner is fighting hard to gain her trust and I'd feel crappy if my acting on this means he loses his family. Without any support from his family and a GP who seems oblivious, what can I do?
