Hi all,
After 10 days in hospital and a battle with social services who wanted to put him into nursing care (rather than his dementia registered care home)Dad is finally back where he's safe and happy. He's still not eating and is still "pouching" his food, but he will take drinks, although this afternoon he had a bottle of Fortisip and began to dribble it out. I made light of it and said "you don't want that then...!" got a bib for his lap and some wet wipes and sat there smiling at him. Problem solved, I thought. Then my mum starts "David that's disgusting, you know you shouldn't be doing that. why are you doing that? Right, that's it i won't come and visit you any more, you make me feel ill. Why can't you just swallow?", etc, etc, etc.
The nutrition team have told us that he might still continue to do this. It doesn't matter, and after all Dad has no idea that it's not polite. He also doesn't understand that he has to eat to survive. They also said that if Dad takes 4 hrs over one meal that was ok and any negative comments even reminding him constantly to swallow could cause stress and therefore prevent him eating the meal.
I know Mum's stressed out about it all. It took her a long time to even admit there was anything wrong with Dad let alone get help. I had to go "behind their backs" to Dad's GP in the end. She won't tell anyone he has dementia and she hasn't told anyone he's in a care home. If anyone phones for him she says he's "out" and if they meet her in the street she says he's indoors. She says she's ashamed of his illness - it shouldn't have happened to Dad because he has 3 1st class degrees. Mum herself has been ill and currently has vision problems so she has become quite dependent on me, but I'm finding her increasingly difficult to deal with. I also find it hard to tell her to shut up when she gets going even though I know it must be distressing for Dad. I'd like to tell her not to visit Dad but how on earth could I do that????
Katie (at the end of her very long and over-stretched tether......
)
After 10 days in hospital and a battle with social services who wanted to put him into nursing care (rather than his dementia registered care home)Dad is finally back where he's safe and happy. He's still not eating and is still "pouching" his food, but he will take drinks, although this afternoon he had a bottle of Fortisip and began to dribble it out. I made light of it and said "you don't want that then...!" got a bib for his lap and some wet wipes and sat there smiling at him. Problem solved, I thought. Then my mum starts "David that's disgusting, you know you shouldn't be doing that. why are you doing that? Right, that's it i won't come and visit you any more, you make me feel ill. Why can't you just swallow?", etc, etc, etc.
The nutrition team have told us that he might still continue to do this. It doesn't matter, and after all Dad has no idea that it's not polite. He also doesn't understand that he has to eat to survive. They also said that if Dad takes 4 hrs over one meal that was ok and any negative comments even reminding him constantly to swallow could cause stress and therefore prevent him eating the meal.
I know Mum's stressed out about it all. It took her a long time to even admit there was anything wrong with Dad let alone get help. I had to go "behind their backs" to Dad's GP in the end. She won't tell anyone he has dementia and she hasn't told anyone he's in a care home. If anyone phones for him she says he's "out" and if they meet her in the street she says he's indoors. She says she's ashamed of his illness - it shouldn't have happened to Dad because he has 3 1st class degrees. Mum herself has been ill and currently has vision problems so she has become quite dependent on me, but I'm finding her increasingly difficult to deal with. I also find it hard to tell her to shut up when she gets going even though I know it must be distressing for Dad. I'd like to tell her not to visit Dad but how on earth could I do that????
Katie (at the end of her very long and over-stretched tether......
)
