I joined Talking Point a few months ago because my OH has Vascular Dementia and I wanted to learn of other`s experiences and how they cope, and I really am full of admiration for the ways you all manage and your dedication to supporting your partners/family members.
I was shocked and sickened when, 2 years ago, my OH was given his diagnosis by the memory clinic. It was nothing more than a few words and being handed a book about Vascular Dementia, with the understanding that his G.P. and the Alzheimer`s Society would be informed. Oh yes, we were told that the memory clinic would not see us again as there was no cure or help they could offer. I have to acknowledge that the A.S. do contact me every few months to ask how my OH and I are doing, but our G.P./medical centre have never contacted us regarding OH`s dementia. Blessed be, since the diagnosis the pattern of our lives hasn`t really changed. We have gone on holidays (although the last one was a bit of a disaster as OH had a nasty fall), visited people and places, gone for walks, shopping, gardening etc. I have even been able to go out to play golf a couple of time a week and leave OH on his own.
Nevertheless, I am finding that the more I read about the progression of dementia the more scared and worried I become as I fear that I will not be able to handle the many difficulties likely to be presented to me, and the changes it will present to both of us. I have read several times how carers feel guilty for a number of reasons, and I feel guilty, selfish and ashamed now. I have tried contacting AgeUK, Social Services etc., not for immediate assistance but simply to make them aware of us. AgeUK simply referred me to Admiral Nurses, Social Services asked me to complete on line assessments for OH and myself as carer which I did and both showed that we did not qualify for any support. I have recently registered with Admiral Nurses and am currently waiting for them to get back to me.
Now, I find myself watching OH`s every word and movement for changes. Of course there are a few, but I now find I am hesitant about either of us doing anything in case of something happening.
My goodness, writing this and rereading all I have written is therapeutic in itself and makes me realise I must give myself a good shake, and just get on with the life OH and I have together. Can not deal with what might happen until it occurs. Thank you for reading.
I was shocked and sickened when, 2 years ago, my OH was given his diagnosis by the memory clinic. It was nothing more than a few words and being handed a book about Vascular Dementia, with the understanding that his G.P. and the Alzheimer`s Society would be informed. Oh yes, we were told that the memory clinic would not see us again as there was no cure or help they could offer. I have to acknowledge that the A.S. do contact me every few months to ask how my OH and I are doing, but our G.P./medical centre have never contacted us regarding OH`s dementia. Blessed be, since the diagnosis the pattern of our lives hasn`t really changed. We have gone on holidays (although the last one was a bit of a disaster as OH had a nasty fall), visited people and places, gone for walks, shopping, gardening etc. I have even been able to go out to play golf a couple of time a week and leave OH on his own.
Nevertheless, I am finding that the more I read about the progression of dementia the more scared and worried I become as I fear that I will not be able to handle the many difficulties likely to be presented to me, and the changes it will present to both of us. I have read several times how carers feel guilty for a number of reasons, and I feel guilty, selfish and ashamed now. I have tried contacting AgeUK, Social Services etc., not for immediate assistance but simply to make them aware of us. AgeUK simply referred me to Admiral Nurses, Social Services asked me to complete on line assessments for OH and myself as carer which I did and both showed that we did not qualify for any support. I have recently registered with Admiral Nurses and am currently waiting for them to get back to me.
Now, I find myself watching OH`s every word and movement for changes. Of course there are a few, but I now find I am hesitant about either of us doing anything in case of something happening.
My goodness, writing this and rereading all I have written is therapeutic in itself and makes me realise I must give myself a good shake, and just get on with the life OH and I have together. Can not deal with what might happen until it occurs. Thank you for reading.