Money wording...

[imac.girll1]

A problem each and everyone of us will recognise within the person suffering AD or VD or any of the other relations of it.

MONEY!

Not always the fact that they havent got any etc etc problem, but the fact that they loose the ability to recognise the coins.

Mother and I save £2.00 coins in our 'nest egg holiday piggy bank', which allows us to have anice meal out etc, but lately the problems differentiating between 20 pences, 2 pences, and 2 shillings (! ) has really been noticeable. All coins seem to be a problem as she handed over 23 pence thinking this was £1.30 for a sunday paper the other day, and even when we recounted it together she still couldnt see the problem, other than the fact of people tutting in the queue (sod them)!

Anyway, this seems to be another major downfall as well as shoes going on the wrong feet, dirty clothes being put on out of the washing basket etc.

Hey ho, hope all is going well with you all.

xx

 

[sussexsue]

not to mention the meaness with money

My mum has now adopted the "queen" strategy, whereby her lackie (me) pays for everything

 

[sallyc]

I know what you mean!

Oh Honey - you poor thing I know just what you mean!

I care for my Grandad who has AD, and also have a 2 yr old daughter to cart out averywhere with us.

He too doesn't recognise coins but will still insist on going to get the car park ticket! I usually let him go, get all the buggy out of the car, get the daughter installed, sort out my bag....etc etc then go and rescue him. same old conversation "How much is it?" "80p grandad" "How much!!!!
80p???" "It's ok, I think I've got it now" And there will be something like 3x£1 coins in his hand (or some other obscure amount)! I then, invariably, get the ticket myself and then when we do the shopping he says "have you got the slip to get the money back for the car park?" and then gets the money back himself off his shopping bill!! haven't had the dirty clothes out of the washing basket yet - mind you he doesn't have a basket and just shoves all his dirty stuff down the side of his wardrobe, where I rescue it, wash it and put it away again.

He also can't ever find his pyjamas ( or sometimes doesn't recignise them) so today i went round and there are 3 shirts in his bed that he must have slept in.

Happy Days

 

[Izzy]

My mum has now adopted the "queen" strategy, whereby her lackie (me) pays for everything

That sounds oh so familiar!!

 

[imac.girll1]

Yeah the queen bit but in opposite to be honest, if i really was the type of person to take every single thing from her that she offered she would be 'skint'!

But sometimes it is easier to just pay for the things myself, instead of the frustration for us both over the coins.

Sadly though it does extend to the paper money as well, £5.00 can be referred to as 50 pence, £10.00 is 10 pence and so on.

Anyway off to throw the dustbins out and grab the cats in, or is it the other way about????????????



x

 

[Izzy]

Yeah the queen bit but in opposite to be honest, if i really was the type of person to take every single thing from her that she offered she would be 'skint'!

But sometimes it is easier to just pay for the things myself, instead of the frustration for us both over the coins.
x

My mum is rally the same, to be honest. She offers but
I do believe it's easier to pay myself. What drives me batty is her obsession with her bank book (she still has one of these). She reads it over and over and over and constantly asks where it is. She doesn't understand what the payments are (especially attendance allowance) but still has enough savvy to know exactly what she has in total - she's a real mix! I suppose it makes it a bit easier because she actually stays with us. AAAARRRGGH she has just asked for her bank book again. My husband is the one with AD - he still understands a bit about money but I see him looking closely at the notes and coins to read what they are. I do all of our finances now.#

No cats to bring in or dustbins to throw out. The three of us are on holiday in a self catering flat. Off to down another glass of pinot grigio blush!!

 

[Izzy]

Am now watching mum 'counting' the money in her purse. She's examining every coin and turning them round and round. Any minute now she'll sigh and say 'do you want this rubbish'?'!!!!

 

[sussexsue]

dont even get me started on fussing over bank statements

 

[larivy]

money and cards

my mum drives me mad with her bank cards and will keep asking me for them even though she keeps them in her bag. we will go to the bank and get money out and then 5 minutes down the road she will keep telling me she needs to get some money out

 

[Izzy]

my mum drives me mad with her bank cards and will keep asking me for them even though she keeps them in her bag. we will go to the bank and get money out and then 5 minutes down the road she will keep telling me she needs to get some money out

OMG - I am not alone!! That is exactly what mum is like!

 

[imac.girll1]

Final word on this......

Izzy go get the wine and get drunk, hubby will still have AD in the morning and mum will still be counting in her counting house, get ****ed, lol.

If she wants to get rid of the smash tell her to throw them into a padded envelope and post them to herself, she'll think 'pennies from heaven'

sussexsue, bank statements - thats what shredders are for

larivy - when she says she must go and get some money, say yeah and then go have a coffee

Izzy - you not drunk yet, get gulping lol open wide!!!!!!

xx

 

[Natashalou]

Looking Back

I realise this was the very first sign all wasnt well with my mum. She knew she had lost understanding of money..so she would just hadn over a twenty pound note whatever she paid for and just hope to get the right change!

 

[VickyH]

My dad constantly refers to me as 'tight' when it comes to money, even though he is constantly asking me for it and gets it straight away! Sometimes im sure that the only thing he remembers is if he's due any money!

And he is constanlty saving 5p's and 20p's for 'the kids'! I have no idea who these kids are but they must be loaded by now!

He also apparantly tried paying for his fish and chips with a piece of paper the other day, with several angry people in the queue behind him...they should learn to be more patient, the fish and chips will still be there in 5 minutes!

 

[Clive]

Yes money was always the cause of anxiety but also, looking back, some funny incidents.

Like the day my wife and I took mum to Woolworth’s to buy a new washing up bowl after mum had melted the previous one on top of the gas oven.

Intent on making sure mum had her independence for as long as possible she was encouraged to chose the colour and carry the bowl to the checkout.

The bowl cost £1.99 and, with a bit of prompting, mum got her purse out of her pocket and handed over a five-pound note.

Then at the top of her voice she announced, “these two people have brought me here to spend MY money”

At that moment I just wished the floor would open up and…

Clive

 

[ella24]

My gran can count her money (frequently) - even the more 'modern' coins, but she has lost all concept of it's value ('how much for a haircut?')

I did find out recently though that she cuts the coupons out of magazines and newspapers in the CH - even if they are not her magazines - 'to save a few bob'

 

[julieann15]

hi
Have noticed that MIL hands over a note for almost eveything? I did her shopping last week- it came to £9 something- she gave me a £20 note- I was looking for a £10 to give her and she said keep the change towards your petrolLuckily Ian had a £10 note. I just hope the shop assistants down the road are as honest with mum's change?

Love Julie xx

 

[uselessdaughter]

What to do

It is strange that this subject has been raised because I have just been trying to decide what to do. I have noticed that my Dad always seems to have foreign coins and pre decimal pennies in his change in his pocket. At first I thought he must have found it in various drawers around the house but at the weekend I found some money from countries he has never visited. He did a lot of travelling when Mum was alive.

The only thing I can think of is that they are giving him this money in his change in his village shop, as that it the only place he goes on his own. He collects his newpaper every morning. I find it hard to believe that the people who run the shop could do such a dispicable thing as I have know them since we were all at school together, but there does not seem to be any other explanation. The thing is what do I do? I do not want to make things difficult for Dad by making accusations in case I am wrong (I live 200 miles from Dad) but the situation obviously cannot go on. I also wonder how many other vulnerable people are being taking advantage of. It is not much but that is not the point. Do you think the local trading standards would investigate by saying that they had had an annonymous tip off or should I write an annonymous letter suggesting that I suspect they are giving foreign coins in change? Opinions would be welcomed please.

I have thought about getting his newpaper bill sent to me for payment but I know he would still pay for the paper as he has always done - and then they could end up getting paid twice!

 

[julieann15]

Hi
I have been into mum's local shop with her.When she had left I nipped back in and had a quiet word. I have made them aware that she has AD and asked them to ensure mum has the right change as sometimes she forgets what note she has given. I have also asked them to remind her if she has already bought a morning paper but sadly they don't do this hence 3 local papers all the same date

It does sound as though the shop may be giving foreign coins in the change. Is it not possible for someone to check his change as he comes out to see- perhaps a friend?And then take it from there?

Love Julie xx

 

[Tender Face]

Gosh, like Natahslou this brings so much back .... mum admitting to just ‘handing over her purse’ at the corner shop because she knew she couldn’t manage money anymore even thought she didn’t dare admit it to me initially (fortunately well-established local shop staffed with people I generally knew for years and trusted) ..... Previously – always offering a note (didn’t want people to realise she couldn’t manage?)...... always a ‘keep the change’ offer – (obviously no idea of value/change) ... so delighted she could remember her ‘PIN’ at one point I discovered she would shout it out to anyone listening!

Uselessdaughter ... just one thing to think of here (and I am usually most cynical and sceptical) but could it be dad has been hoarding old coins ?... I found stashes at mum’s – foreign, pre-decimal – as you say – some from countries I know she never visited – where she collected them from over the years I will never know ... and frightens me to think how long some of her ‘obsessive’ behaviour had gone on pre-diagnosis?

The ‘looking back’ gives some frightening clues ... and some wry smiles .....

Love, Karen, x

(Clive, Ella - you both made me laugh out loud, thank you .... when I caught mum 'pinching' tissue paper in hospital/hospice and Nursing Home I would ask 'What do you need all those for? 'Save us a few bob,' was the reply! )

 

[Clive]

Sadly I also had the problem with foreign coins turning up in mum’s purse.

By the time I was checking her money the number of people mum was dealing with was limited to regular tradesmen who called at the house. The milkman, window cleaner, two mobile shops, and the “over 60” club.

I varied my schedule so that I met each of these people and advised them that mum may give THEM foreign coins in payment as she was getting very forgetful SOME days. I asked them if they would let me know of any problem because I was tracing where the coins came from, and I would know the previous tradesman had given mum the coin.

It worked for some time but then foreign coins started to creep in again. It was particularly disappointing, as mum would always say she liked to buy something from these people to keep them in business.

Clive