Mom recently diagnosed. Any advice on lethargy and apathy helpful.

[Smij27]

Afternoon everyone. Mom was being treated for severe deprssion as she had retired and we thought that was the trigger. It seemed to start repeating things again and again. She became rooted to her part of the sofa sitting doing absolutely nothing. Eventually we got her to visit a psychiatrist who diagnosed dementia (not sure what type though a brain scan only showed brain shrinkage).

Now we face a different future. We cannot motivate her to do anything. Now my dad has cajoled, pleaded, blackmailed her trying to do most things. How can we get her to move and do things? As she is the perfect picture of apathy and lethargy. Sadly she now appears to be emotionally detatched.

I realise her world is now different to ours but even in these early stages it's already affecting dad. Any strategies or advice very much welcome. Thank you.

 

[marionq]

This may be hard to hear but some people would like a bit of lethargy or apathy in their loved ones. Pacing, wandering and agitation are much more difficult to deal with. Your mum will no doubt have an array of symptoms which you will try to deal with as best you can.

Concentrate at present on making life bearable for your Dad.

 

[Smij27]

This may be hard to hear but some people would like a bit of lethargy or apathy in their loved ones. Pacing, wandering and agitation are much more difficult to deal with. Your mum will no doubt have an array of symptoms which you will try to deal with as best you can.

Concentrate at present on making life bearable for your Dad.

Thank you. This is our families first encounter with Dementia and looking for any morsels of advice.

 

[Beate]

Has she been prescribed medication for the dementia? My OH was put on Aricept (Donepezil) and reported feeling "more positive" with it. He's never been depressed though so I don't know whether that further complicates things.

 

[la lucia]

Thank you. This is our families first encounter with Dementia and looking for any morsels of advice.

When I first became a full time carer for my mum, she was exactly the same. If I tried to organise or suggest anything it wouldn't happen. So I changed the approach and tried to make it appear as a 'commitment' to someone or something else.

So instead of me taking her to a local coffee morning, I arranged for someone else to collect her and only mentioned it the morning it was happening. I got her to go for a day out on the grounds that the toilet was being removed to retile the floor (it was but it was an 'obligation' to the poor hardworking builder'). A Sunday pensioners lunch was engineered with a kind lady who arrived and marched mum out the door with a gentle but firm 'come along'.

These things were all presented in quite a laid back way but definitely as a done deal. And never as anything to do with me. Amazingly it seemed to work.

Bit by bit I found that she stopped making excuses about why she couldn't / didn't want to go, or just plain refusing, and she always came home in a better mood. I even found her cognition improved to a degree. It's a shame because she's just had a stroke and all that 'improvement' has gone out of the window.

 

[Smij27]

Thank you. That was helpful. Sorry your mum had a stroke and got set back.

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