Hello. My mom was just diagnosed with dementia. She had a UTI and had delirium. She was in the hospital for 2 1/2 weeks and rehab for 2 weeks. She is now in assisted living without my dad, who has bought a new house near me and her. She is in denial of her diagnosis and my father doesn’t want to learn about anything related to dementia. I am going to a therapist and a support group, but no one in my family wants to educate themselves or get help. My brother lives in another state and tells me I just get “triggered” by my parents and I just need to not worry about it. I have chronic depression and I am having a difficult time dealing with all of it. My mom “showtimes” when others are around, but I see a lot of symptoms when she’s with me. Not sure what to do.
Mom has dementia
- Thread starter Jbmar11
- Start date
Hello @Jbmar11
Im afraid it is not unusual for other family members to disbelieve the main carer when they say how things have got and Showtiming (what we call Host Mode) has a lot to answer for because they never see the true picture and think you are exaggerating! Your dad probably doesnt want to know too much because he is frightened of the future.
Is your Mom OK in sheltered accommodation? If so, then try not to worry too much and ignore the other family members
xx
Im afraid it is not unusual for other family members to disbelieve the main carer when they say how things have got and Showtiming (what we call Host Mode) has a lot to answer for because they never see the true picture and think you are exaggerating! Your dad probably doesnt want to know too much because he is frightened of the future.
Is your Mom OK in sheltered accommodation? If so, then try not to worry too much and ignore the other family members
xx
Hi @Jbmar11
Yep, it sounds little like my brothers (three of them!) I seem to be the only one thinking about and doing things. One of my brothers is even living with her temporarily but I know as soon as he is ready to leave-he will go and I will have to pick up the pieces where mum thinks he is actually living with her permanently and will start to panic. They all have a blinkered way of managing her Dementia and it frustrates me to no end-countless times I have suggested looking at Youtube, researching the condition and learning about it-so that they may be able to manager her appropriately but to no avail. ggrrr.
Anyway, enough of my ranting. Showtiming/host-mode is very common I believe and my mother is the grand master at it. They way I have managed this behaviour (took me a while to learn) is to 'go with it' and ignore her actions. It is difficult sometimes but I think we all have to find a way or preserving ourselves and our inner-self. I think it is very easy to get lost in our loved-ones world that we forget our own sometimes and before you know it we ourselves need the help.
I really hope you get the support you need but I can tell you that since finding this Forum it has helped me a great deal. So glad I found it.
take care
Yep, it sounds little like my brothers (three of them!) I seem to be the only one thinking about and doing things. One of my brothers is even living with her temporarily but I know as soon as he is ready to leave-he will go and I will have to pick up the pieces where mum thinks he is actually living with her permanently and will start to panic. They all have a blinkered way of managing her Dementia and it frustrates me to no end-countless times I have suggested looking at Youtube, researching the condition and learning about it-so that they may be able to manager her appropriately but to no avail. ggrrr.
Anyway, enough of my ranting. Showtiming/host-mode is very common I believe and my mother is the grand master at it. They way I have managed this behaviour (took me a while to learn) is to 'go with it' and ignore her actions. It is difficult sometimes but I think we all have to find a way or preserving ourselves and our inner-self. I think it is very easy to get lost in our loved-ones world that we forget our own sometimes and before you know it we ourselves need the help.
I really hope you get the support you need but I can tell you that since finding this Forum it has helped me a great deal. So glad I found it.
take care
