Hello all! My mother has dementia and has had a recent drastic decline with cognitive skills. Mealtime is especially messy and she gets extremely frustrated. Are there any tools such as specialized dishes, utensils, cups, etc I can get that will help decrease spilling, dripping, dropping, etc that will help lower her anxiety? She eats, slurps, plays with the dropped foods and drink which to me is unsanitary as well as unpleasant for others at the table. Any suggestions that will help her will be greatly appreciated. God bless!
Messy mealtime frustrates my mother
- Thread starter Dementia@info
- Start date
Once my husband reached the stage where he couldn't keep food on the plate as he tried to eat I bought some plate guards. I think they came as a pack of two. They were brilliant because they could clip on to the rim of any plate which meant my husband could eat off the same plates as everyone else rather than use brightly coloured plastic plates with a high rim, which he felt were for toddlers. It also meant that, if we went out to visit friends and family I could have a plate guard in my bag, ready to fit on any plate they might provide for meals - they were a great help.
When it came to desserts I did go for a small, red plastic, raised edged dish with a suction ring on the bottom which meant it stuck firmly to the table top or any tray he was using. I bought one for me too, not because I needed the help, but because my husband was less self-conscious if we were using the same tableware. He felt it ok to use red plastic dishes for his desserts but not for his main meal.
When it came to desserts I did go for a small, red plastic, raised edged dish with a suction ring on the bottom which meant it stuck firmly to the table top or any tray he was using. I bought one for me too, not because I needed the help, but because my husband was less self-conscious if we were using the same tableware. He felt it ok to use red plastic dishes for his desserts but not for his main meal.
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You can get cups with lids but before my mum got really bad she was aware enough that she didn't like them because 'they were old people's cups'. So I got her a pretty Mason jar with sealed lid and a straw for cold drinks and a travel coffee flask for her brews. You can also get cutlery that have special grips and I used to buy pretty serviettes to help protect her clothes and then later we have a dark coloured blouse that we used as an apron as she felt less embarrassed in that. My main thing was to downplay the mess as much as possible. She knew it was a mess and used to get embarrassed so I tried to draw as little attention to it as possible. I hope this helps a little
Thank you for sharing your experiences. As I read all the responses, I realize all the things we are experiencing seem typical. It also seems we are adapting as well as can be expected. I'm thankful to know the things I'm trying, saying, doing for her seems to be in line with everyone with experience is suggesting. It helps knowing we aren't dealing with this disease alone. For me, I have to realize there are not ways to provide her a life as she once knew. I can however with the support of others give her the best quality of life under the circumstances of dementia. Again, thank you and God bless!
