Memory losss and diagnosis in my husband

[pearlyshirl]

Hi - My husband has been assessed by GP and now by Memory Clinic and they have recommended further tests/CT scan. He refuses to acknowledge he has a memory problem and if confronted by anything his standard reply is "I can't remember"! He has made me promise not to tell anyone about all this - even our son and daughter-in-law who live next door and have noticed problems themselves. I feel so alone and, having looked after his mum for 7 years when she had Alzheimers, I feel that the future is not worth contemplating. Anyone who has been in this position who can help? My husband is 72 and I am 74.

 

[LadyA]

duplicate post removed

 

[LadyA]

Hello and welcome. I'm sorry you are facing this. You have come to the right place. You are going to need support. My husband would never acknowledge there was anything wrong either, in fact would furiously deny it! Eventually though I did have to tell people, as his increasingly bizarre behaviour became obvious. As you say your son and dil have already noticed, I would talk to them. You could do what I used to do, tell them that you are relying on their discretion, as your husband doesn't want anyone told. But you will need their support.

Meanwhile, to the practical things. As I'm not in the UK, others will be more familiar but I think you can apply for some benefits like Attendance Allowance and a reduction in your Council Tax. And now is the time to try and get an Enduring power of Attorney signed by your husband. It's actually something we should all do when we do our Wills. So maybe you could do one too, so he won't feel like he's being targetted? That's if you haven't already done this. It could become important later to have it.

Have a browse around the forum, and you can start a thread in the "I have a partner with dementia" section, when you are ready.