My Dad is an alcoholic. He turned to alcohol to deal with the loss of my mum nearly 3 years ago.
Alcohol makes him lose his words, fail to understand anything said to him and sometimes makes him aggressive.
When he's not drinking he still has some level of confusion and words are a bit hit and miss. He struggles to remember names - even his grandchildren that he sees several times a week, forgets to eat, forgets his pills or takes them on the wrong day (even in a dosset box).
We worked hard to get him into residential detox so his cognitive functions could be assessed whilst he was sober. Unfortunately within a week of discharge from hospital he was back to drinking again.
The GP has said that whilst he is drinking she cannot refer him to the memory clinic.
We're considering all sorts of schemes to get him to stop drinking so we can get him assessed - from taking his bank cards off him so he can't buy booze, to putting him in residential care on a temporary basis to allow the tests to be done although I have no idea whether they need to be done over an long period or if we can do just a one off test.
Has anyone else been in a similar boat?
When left to his own devices he eats 2 bowls of breakfast cereal a day, stares at the wall. He frequently has no idea if its morning or evening and only goes to the shop to buy more alcohol.
In the meantime, he has a carer who comes in every lunchtime to cook him a proper meal, chat to him and check that he has taken his medication. She also cleans, helps with laundry, makes him change his bed etc.
We phone him every morning to check he is up, dressed, has had breakfast and has taken his pills which are in a dosset box. Ditto in the evening although one of us frequently ends up going over to cook him something because he can't use the cooker and can't or won't make a sandwich/use the microwave or he's failed to do the shopping that he and the carer have agreed. We both work and we have 2 small children.
I'm pretty sure he has dementia but without a diagnosis or any chance of getting one, I'm feeling pretty isolated. I'd love a label to hang on his unwillingness to do anything and his inability to engage meaningfully in any kind of relationship.
I'm not sure the local alzheimers society can do much to support us; he technically isn't diagnosed but all of their events take place during the working day so are inaccessible to us. I've sent them an e-mail to see if they can help.m
An age UK volunteer phones him up every week although apparently the conversations are very short and the other person can't wait to get off the phone (but who knows whether this is an accurate reflection of events).
I have downloaded the compassionate communication guide which I am happy to try when he's sober, but I can't be bothered when he's drunk; I don't want to reward destructive behaviour.
We're going to try and get him a clock which shows day and tine, and ideally am/pm to help him manage his meds but I'm very tempted to get him one of the pill dispensers which text you if he's not taken them and then locks them so they can't be taken, especially since sometime today he took tomorrow mornings drugs... and the next delivery is due tomorrow so he's short of pills for breakfast.
Is there anything else I should be doing to support him?
Alcohol makes him lose his words, fail to understand anything said to him and sometimes makes him aggressive.
When he's not drinking he still has some level of confusion and words are a bit hit and miss. He struggles to remember names - even his grandchildren that he sees several times a week, forgets to eat, forgets his pills or takes them on the wrong day (even in a dosset box).
We worked hard to get him into residential detox so his cognitive functions could be assessed whilst he was sober. Unfortunately within a week of discharge from hospital he was back to drinking again.
The GP has said that whilst he is drinking she cannot refer him to the memory clinic.
We're considering all sorts of schemes to get him to stop drinking so we can get him assessed - from taking his bank cards off him so he can't buy booze, to putting him in residential care on a temporary basis to allow the tests to be done although I have no idea whether they need to be done over an long period or if we can do just a one off test.
Has anyone else been in a similar boat?
When left to his own devices he eats 2 bowls of breakfast cereal a day, stares at the wall. He frequently has no idea if its morning or evening and only goes to the shop to buy more alcohol.
In the meantime, he has a carer who comes in every lunchtime to cook him a proper meal, chat to him and check that he has taken his medication. She also cleans, helps with laundry, makes him change his bed etc.
We phone him every morning to check he is up, dressed, has had breakfast and has taken his pills which are in a dosset box. Ditto in the evening although one of us frequently ends up going over to cook him something because he can't use the cooker and can't or won't make a sandwich/use the microwave or he's failed to do the shopping that he and the carer have agreed. We both work and we have 2 small children.
I'm pretty sure he has dementia but without a diagnosis or any chance of getting one, I'm feeling pretty isolated. I'd love a label to hang on his unwillingness to do anything and his inability to engage meaningfully in any kind of relationship.
I'm not sure the local alzheimers society can do much to support us; he technically isn't diagnosed but all of their events take place during the working day so are inaccessible to us. I've sent them an e-mail to see if they can help.m
An age UK volunteer phones him up every week although apparently the conversations are very short and the other person can't wait to get off the phone (but who knows whether this is an accurate reflection of events).
I have downloaded the compassionate communication guide which I am happy to try when he's sober, but I can't be bothered when he's drunk; I don't want to reward destructive behaviour.
We're going to try and get him a clock which shows day and tine, and ideally am/pm to help him manage his meds but I'm very tempted to get him one of the pill dispensers which text you if he's not taken them and then locks them so they can't be taken, especially since sometime today he took tomorrow mornings drugs... and the next delivery is due tomorrow so he's short of pills for breakfast.
Is there anything else I should be doing to support him?
