Thank you for accepting me. My mum was diagnosed 4 years ago with Alz. & Mixed dementia. I gave up work this year as I was finding it difficult to work full time with mums increasing needs. I live next door to mum, which can be a blessing and somthimes challenging. My issue is that she still believes she has is living the same life she always has (except without dad, he passed away 5 years ago) . I have POA & taks care of all financial matters, appointments, shopping, cleaning. Her cousin visits every 2 weeks & her son every 6/8 weeks. She has been suspended from driving, pending an eye test, due to deterioration. I'm struggling with meals. She has always eaten her main meal at 8/ 8.30pm. This is too late for us to eat so I try to prepare meals that she can warm up, which I'm finding still in the fridge the following day. If i take a hot meal around @ 6/6.30 she's not hungry, so its left again. She will happy eat cheese sandwiches every day. She won't eat anything in the day before 1pm & only 1 slice of toast. then by 4pm she will eat anything in the fridge ( prefering cheese). I've tried taking a meal at 4pm but she says she's not hungry. I've tried saying I'll be around in 30 mins with a meal & by the time I get there she's forgotten I'm coming & has eaten cheese again. She will eat fruit & cake. I've tried leaving ready meals in the fridge but they never get eaten. Not sure if removing all the food from the house is the answer, and just take a lunch & dinner at normal times? If I ask when she's hungry she always says she isn't. Just trying to ensure she has a good diet. Any suggestions would be much appreciated, I might be missing something really simple.
Meals
- Thread starter SherrieD
- Start date
Hello @SherrieD
When my mum got to that stage, I used to fill her fridge full of tempting things which needed no preparation or cooking. Things like squares of cheese and cream cheese, mini quiches, sausage rolls, pots of custard, little fruit pies, little pork pies, mango juice, fruit yogurts. That sort of thing, with lots of fruit in the fruit bowl for your mum may be the way forward. Mum would eat if I cooked something and ate it with her but that’s not always practical!
When my mum got to that stage, I used to fill her fridge full of tempting things which needed no preparation or cooking. Things like squares of cheese and cream cheese, mini quiches, sausage rolls, pots of custard, little fruit pies, little pork pies, mango juice, fruit yogurts. That sort of thing, with lots of fruit in the fruit bowl for your mum may be the way forward. Mum would eat if I cooked something and ate it with her but that’s not always practical!
hello @SherrieD
a warm welcome to DTP
we want to have our parent eat nutritious meals, at some point, though, keeping up the calories and hoping for the best is all we can do
I agree with having easily available tasty finger foods, or slices/small portions of foods, means that there's plenty of choice for snacking, and you can sneak in veg / fruit in pies, jellies etc .... plus drinks, as he stopped making cuppas, so a jug of squash, carton drinks, cans (though opening things became difficult, so eventually left cartons with the straw already pushed through)
I used to leave a lunchbox for dad, with fresh sandwiches, little tomatoes, cut up fruit, yogurt/individual trifle, a carton drink and cake ... it was see through so he could see the food inside
for an evening meal, would your mum look inside an insulated box/bag ... the meal may not be piping hot, but would probably stay warm
eventually, we moved to home care visits and the carer gave hin the lunch box, and in the evening heated a microwave ready meal and made sure dad ate it ... but I still left snacks and drinks so he had plenty of choice available at any time of day
a warm welcome to DTP
we want to have our parent eat nutritious meals, at some point, though, keeping up the calories and hoping for the best is all we can do
I agree with having easily available tasty finger foods, or slices/small portions of foods, means that there's plenty of choice for snacking, and you can sneak in veg / fruit in pies, jellies etc .... plus drinks, as he stopped making cuppas, so a jug of squash, carton drinks, cans (though opening things became difficult, so eventually left cartons with the straw already pushed through)
I used to leave a lunchbox for dad, with fresh sandwiches, little tomatoes, cut up fruit, yogurt/individual trifle, a carton drink and cake ... it was see through so he could see the food inside
for an evening meal, would your mum look inside an insulated box/bag ... the meal may not be piping hot, but would probably stay warm
eventually, we moved to home care visits and the carer gave hin the lunch box, and in the evening heated a microwave ready meal and made sure dad ate it ... but I still left snacks and drinks so he had plenty of choice available at any time of day
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People with dementia often have diminishing appetites and changing tastes and many of us have struggled getting someone to eat anything at all.
If you try to get her to stick to your routines, I think it will fail! For one thing, it seems her sense of time is going/gone and possibly the part of the brain that tells you you're hungry. But she clearly likes to graze so I'd say go with that, as @lemonbalm and @Shedrech have suggested. It's likely to be hit and miss though!
If you try to get her to stick to your routines, I think it will fail! For one thing, it seems her sense of time is going/gone and possibly the part of the brain that tells you you're hungry. But she clearly likes to graze so I'd say go with that, as @lemonbalm and @Shedrech have suggested. It's likely to be hit and miss though!
When you take her evening meal round to her, do you cook enough for her too and then take it round just before you eat your own so that its nice and hot for her? If so, could you perhaps plate up her meal, but set it aside then take it round at about 8.00pm after you have eaten and heat it up for her? She probably cant remember how to use the oven/microwave to cook or heat things through.
Thank you for your suggestions. I have tried the clear glass lunchbox but its almost as though she only recognises blocks of cheese. She rips the top of everything in the fridge to see whats in it and then leaves it uncovered, U wrap them back up again in the morning. I find fridge foods in all kinds of places in the morning. I've tried putting foods into labelled plastic containers but she takes the food out and puts the container in the sink I have been taking a hot meal at 6pm or a cold one to warm up and leaving infront of the microwave with very big instructions. About 25% of the time she will eat the hot meal. I've tried taking a meal at 8pm and she is eating a block of cheese/cakes. I think she will just eat when she's hungry, regardless of time. I had wiltshire farm foods delivered and put them all in the freezer, next day she had taken all 30 of them out! Maybe finger foods on plates with cling film over them and maybe a couple of hot meals or soup per week instead of trying to get her to eat a hot meal every day will help. Thank you, every day's a school day ?
Unfortunately @SherrieD you are describing someone who can't feed herself any more. It is good that she eats fruit but I think either you or a carer is going to have to put every meal in front of her. I wonder if it might work for meals to be five minutes earlier each week until eventually she is eating at 1830? Planning to make it easy for her to do things herself, even simple things, may not work.
Coud you go round for lunch with her everyday? Maybe soup and cheese(!) on toast, and perhaps a pudding if she won't eat a "proper" meal, then leave her with cold nibbles in the fridge for the rest of the day?
Luckily I'm not in that position, yet - Mum will currently eat anything, anytime - but I'm aware that will probably change. I have decided when that times comes that it will be a case of what she will eat, rather than what constitutes a healthy, balanced diet.
Luckily I'm not in that position, yet - Mum will currently eat anything, anytime - but I'm aware that will probably change. I have decided when that times comes that it will be a case of what she will eat, rather than what constitutes a healthy, balanced diet.
