Making Yourself Feel better at this time of year

Discussion in 'Younger people with dementia and their carers' started by mandyp, Dec 16, 2005.

  1. mandyp

    mandyp Registered User

    Oct 20, 2004
    150
    Glasgow
    Hi

    I'm filled with dread with Christmas/New Year approaching. Every year we think we've had a bad one we can say goodbye to the old and bring on the new....hoping it'll be better. This year, I can't feel it'll be better, Mum will decline so it'll be worse, meaning that no matter what 2006 holds it will be worse than 2005.

    Having been like that, I've been trying to think of all the positives, Mum will still be aware of this Christmas, my 6 year old's excitement is highly infectious and there will be many more Christmasses like that to come. My job is good and will hopefully continue to be good (if not better). I have a new house which I love (and is a 10 minute walk from Mums). I have a husband that I love.

    All in, life couldn't be much better except for the dark cloud of AD.

    Sorry to be depresssing, but I thought I'm almost certainly not the only one feeling like this so I wondered what everyone else did to make themselves feel better at this time of year?

    Hopefully we'll all be able to gee each other up a bit,

    Mandy
     
  2. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    4,348
    Birmingham Hades
    Mandy
    know how you feel.
    I sometimes think life is good and then I ask myself what am I worrying about?
    I don't have any worries do I?
    And then the dark,black realisation that my Peg has AD.
    That is what is always at the back of my mind blighting our lives,spoiling what should be the best times of of lives.
    As you say life would be almost perfect except for this horrible disease.
    Many don't look too far into 2006,remember day by day,that is the only way that I survive.
    Norman sad
     
  3. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    Mandy, you have answered your own question.........Count your blessings....
    AD is never going away, but we must try not to let it take over every aspect of our lives.......Not easy at times I know. Best wishes to you, Connie
     
  4. rummy

    rummy Registered User

    Jul 15, 2005
    700
    Oklahoma,USA
    Mandy,
    I feel the same way. I am trying to enjoy this Christmas but it is hard knowing that this is as good as it will get and next year will be worse. I know that I should be joyful and feel blessed that I have this time, but all I can think of is the way it used to be. I think I am indulging in self pity. We must stop it, lets try hard to count the positives and all we have to be thankful for. It truly is what we make it. I will try if you will.
    Debbie
     
  5. daughter

    daughter Registered User

    Mar 16, 2005
    824
    Wishing you all some Happy Moments in 2006

    Hi Mandy - and everyone,

    I cannot look too far ahead because I think of that decline of my Dad looming. Then again, last year was worse than this for me because Dad had only just gone into his Home. It felt like his life was over and my Mum was terribly sad. A year has gone by and when I look back we've had quite a few happy moments and hopefully more to come:
     

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  6. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    Hazel, such beautiful pictures.......such good memories. Thank you for sharing with us. I know life is hard, but it does help to keep positive.
    Meryy christmas, Connie
     
  7. Lynne

    Lynne Registered User

    Jun 3, 2005
    3,433
    Suffolk,England
    What lovely family photos Hazel

    And as you all say, there's no point in getting steamed up about worse moments which might be coming in the future, let's all agree to deal with them as & when they arise. You never know when that apocryphal bus is going to appear & change the course of events entirely unexpectedly (even if you ARE wearing clean undies :D ).

    Meanwhile let's take photos of happy moments when they occur if possible; make diary notes of, and share, the funny things said or which happen (even if only 'funny' to the rather :cool: dark sense of humour one develops when dealing with a long-term illness!). There are other birthdays, christenings and weddings to celebrate; the world still turns 'outside' AD, and we mustn't lose touch with that.

    While it is still possible, include AD-Mum (or whoever) in such events, by taking her to them, or by taking photos for her to see. Even if she doesn't remember which name fits which person, everyone likes to see smiling faces and happy occasions.

    And for those here who are going through really hard times right now (Connie, Norman & Bruce, to name only 3) this isn't meant to be exclusive or insensitive, and I know you won't take it as such. I wish you better times as well.

    Oh yes, something my Grandmother taught me (by example, long after she left us!) Make a note on the back of photos of who, when & where. Years later, you'll be glad you did!
     
  8. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    Well done Lynne, what a lovely approach. Yes some of us out there may not be able to be so positive, but we can but try.

    Its all going to be here whatever route we like to take, so why not make the best of it. Love to all, Connie
     
  9. daughter

    daughter Registered User

    Mar 16, 2005
    824
    Hi Connie,

    I'm not so sure, in my case at least, that I'm being positive - I don't really feel positive a lot of the time. It's more like I'm trying to grasp the happy times with Dad - otherwise I'd just cry. :confused: Best wishes,
     
  10. mandyp

    mandyp Registered User

    Oct 20, 2004
    150
    Glasgow
    I guess the upshot is that we all try to stay positive and enjoy what we have with the people we care about.

    It is hard not to feel sad about it all, hope everyone has a lovely Christmas with their loved ones.
     
  11. wendy43uk

    wendy43uk Registered User

    Dec 22, 2005
    64
    sheffield
    hi

    hi last week i went to the xmas dinner with my hubbys day center everybody seemed to look so well and full of it but my hubby seemed to be the only one to look worse than last year wich filled me with dread of whats to come soon when i got home i was so down i sat and tharght of the very happy nine years we had before alz and i then tharght dont think of the next nine best to take one day at a time so i put my tree up and that made me feel better i have a 3 kids age 24 21 16 all at home the best thing i can say and do is look at today not tommow ore next xmas it helps hope this helps uou to :D
     
  12. Lynne

    Lynne Registered User

    Jun 3, 2005
    3,433
    Suffolk,England
    You're so right Wendy, 'one day at a time' is the best way to cope.

    Best wishes
     

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