Every two hours, I tell Grandma it's time to go to the bathroom and then I leave the room. If I stay, she claims she can't get up by herself, gets grouchy/angry, and then I have to help her up. If I leave, she might call for me several times to which I do not respond, and then she usually gets up all by herself.
The more she can get up all on her own, the more she can maintain or gain strength. If I help her, she is not maintaining her strength and may become weak. If she becomes weak, I will not be able to handle her as I cannot lift that much weight without hurting myself or even her. If I cannot lift her, she will have to go to a nursing home and she does not want that.
Am I wrong in leaving the room when I tell her to get up? Is it wrong to leave her on her own to get up? To be clear, I do watch her from the other room. I can see her, but she can't see me. I can also hear her. So it's not like I abandoned her. If she truly needs me, I'll be there.
I suppose my concern is that some people might perceive my actions as cruel or uncaring. But helping her just makes things worse, believe me, I've tried it that way. She went from needing significant help to being able to get up all on her own solely because I started leaving the room every time. That to me speaks volumes about her capability.
The more she can get up all on her own, the more she can maintain or gain strength. If I help her, she is not maintaining her strength and may become weak. If she becomes weak, I will not be able to handle her as I cannot lift that much weight without hurting myself or even her. If I cannot lift her, she will have to go to a nursing home and she does not want that.
Am I wrong in leaving the room when I tell her to get up? Is it wrong to leave her on her own to get up? To be clear, I do watch her from the other room. I can see her, but she can't see me. I can also hear her. So it's not like I abandoned her. If she truly needs me, I'll be there.
I suppose my concern is that some people might perceive my actions as cruel or uncaring. But helping her just makes things worse, believe me, I've tried it that way. She went from needing significant help to being able to get up all on her own solely because I started leaving the room every time. That to me speaks volumes about her capability.