LPA and stopping visitors

[Georgeava]

Hi
This is my first post here but I've been reading for a while as my mum is now in later stages VD.
A hit of background... We have recently had to have some respite as my dad, the main caregiver, had a heart attack. The respite has become permanent.
I have LPA for both health and finances and we have recently been awarded with DOLS and I have been appointed RPR as my mum is now lacking capacity.
We have some family members who we have not seen, heard from in near on 15 years after a big family fall out. They have been aware of my mums diagnosis for the last 4 years but havent made contact. Now mum is in a care home they are all coming out of the woodwork. In a conversation with my mum shortly after diagnosis she stated she didnt want any involvement with them and we weren't to allow them to see her if she ever lost capacity etc.

Do I have a legal leg to stand on in stopping these people?

 

[Kevinl]

Hi and welcome to TP
I don't know if your LPA overrides Article 8 of the Human Rights Act, the right to family life which could affect both your right to stop them or their right to visit, I don't know if an LPA tops Article 8, it's an interesting question someone on here might know the answer to, hopefully.
One thing I would say is that involving the home would be the last thing I'd do. The staff on my wife's unit is 29 carers and nurses this excludes kitchen and domestic staff, office staff and the agency staff they use sometimes. They'd all have to know who they can and can't let in and how to handle the situation if an unwanted visitor did turn up, homes aren't there to police domestic differences, nor should they be asked to, it isn't their job and they may feel it's easier to ask your mum to leave than get involved in a situation that's nothing to do with them.
It's a difficult question and one I don't know the answer to.
I had a fall out with one of my parents but luckily I had the chance to patch it up, to some extend at least before he died, after that it would have been too late and we'd all have to have taken it to the grave with us, it might be worth trying some sort of reconciliation while there's still time.
K

 

[Shedrech]

hello @Georgeava
a warm welcome to DTP
I'm sorry to hear of your dad's ill health, and hope your mum is well cared for in her new home ... a challenging time for your family
I'm not sure that even an Attorney can have the care home staff turn away family visitors ... you certainly can have a chat with the manager and discuss what steps they may or may not take, and let them know what your mum has said in the past, especially as she's no longer able to give or withhold her consent for herself ... at least then should anyone turn up at the home, the staff have been made aware

personally, I must admit I am torn ... I wonder whether the family members want a chance to make peace ... though I'd hope they would contact you and your dad and respect your views
on the other hand, I know there are members of my family I would not want to visit me eg if I were in hospital and would expect my wishes to be paramount

 

[Sirena]

I would talk to the manager of the CH to let her know that there are potentially visitors your mother may not want to see. The CH will want to do what is in your mother's best interests, and visitors who upset her will go against that. I'm not saying they will prevent them visiting, but if they are aware they can keep an eye on things. I don't think you can do anything to prevent it in advance.

However I suspect that the relatives will visit once and that will be that. No one wants to visit a care home. My mother's cousin (who rarely saw her pre-care home) made a big hooha about visiting, but as far as I am aware after the first visit she has never been back. My mother has no idea who she is so it would make no difference either way.