Everything I read is how to care for 'loved ones' The truth is, and I may sound really selfish, I don't love my husband. I care for him, meaning I always look out for him and always over our 57 years together tried to do my best, but love, that went out of the window many years ago, way before dementia.
I'm 13 yrs younger, he is 89 and I'm really struggling to have a life of my own as I cant leave him for long periods. I had to get a sitter this week as I had a hospital appointment which took up a long time. He has no awareness watching TV with news articles about dementia that this affects him. He will tell people he has a little bit of dementia, no dear, you have a lot. He's never lived in the 'real world' always been more like a child. When he can't get his audio equipment to work he gets very angry and when I try to help I get told I don't know what I'm doing, Oh yes I do, much more than him. But I cant stand all the muttering that goes on whilst he's trying to sort it. In the end its down to me. I do leave the room, but just now I was trying to watch a tv programme, in the end I gave up!!
I'd love to get him into a day centre, but I cant imagine he would ever go as he's pretty self contained.
Occasionally we go out and have coffee, but we just sit staring at the surroundings and never talk.
I try to chose tv programmes that he would like, but in the end, the lights are on but no ones at home, his eyes are open but his head is down and not receiving.
Sometimes I feel at my wits end. I want a life, not a life sentence. Sounds selfish - he's totally unaware of his problems!
My family, sons. are only mildly supportive
Sorry for the rant. We all need to let off steam
I'm 13 yrs younger, he is 89 and I'm really struggling to have a life of my own as I cant leave him for long periods. I had to get a sitter this week as I had a hospital appointment which took up a long time. He has no awareness watching TV with news articles about dementia that this affects him. He will tell people he has a little bit of dementia, no dear, you have a lot. He's never lived in the 'real world' always been more like a child. When he can't get his audio equipment to work he gets very angry and when I try to help I get told I don't know what I'm doing, Oh yes I do, much more than him. But I cant stand all the muttering that goes on whilst he's trying to sort it. In the end its down to me. I do leave the room, but just now I was trying to watch a tv programme, in the end I gave up!!
I'd love to get him into a day centre, but I cant imagine he would ever go as he's pretty self contained.
Occasionally we go out and have coffee, but we just sit staring at the surroundings and never talk.
I try to chose tv programmes that he would like, but in the end, the lights are on but no ones at home, his eyes are open but his head is down and not receiving.
Sometimes I feel at my wits end. I want a life, not a life sentence. Sounds selfish - he's totally unaware of his problems!
My family, sons. are only mildly supportive
Sorry for the rant. We all need to let off steam