I know e we hat you’re saying. I’ve got most of my mums things. We had to clear her house and chucked her possessions from 40yrs! She wanted to keep her rings obviously sentimental value snd now they’re gone! Gutted. Clothes mobile all the other stuff is not important! I knew which room they’d be in! Yeah n all labelled, but her most precious rings it’s a kick in the teeth tbh! Feel let down a bit as regular staff Wud see notice her jewellery and just makes me suspicious
Losing things in Care Homes
- Thread starter Strawberries
- Start date
I felt the same when mum's gold bracelet and necklace went missing. She never took them off (couldn't!) and they did not need to be removed for washing, etc.
Whilst in the care home, mum lost all the usual things - clothes, glasses, etc, and gained a few items that didn't belong to her. That's the way it is... However, the staff know this too... Mum's jewellery could only have been removed by a member of staff, but who can prove that? The manager was horrified and questioned all the staff (which didn't make me very popular!) but there had been several agency staff working in the home over the past several weeks so the blame was put on them.
In the end, it was my fault because I should have removed the jewellery when mum went in there. I'd taken her wedding/engagement rings for safe keeping but that was because they were loose. You just don't expect a vulnerable old person to be robbed but sadly, it does happen sometimes. And let's not forget, our loved ones are in care homes, not in a prison - they should be allowed to keep such things as personal jewellery without fear it will get nicked by opportunistic carers.
Whilst in hospital before the care home, mum 'lost' her gold earrings, her purse (from her handbag) her dentures, 2 pairs of shoes/slippers, and ALL her clothes including a heavy padded jacket. I met her from the ambulance when she arrived at the care home - she was wearing a hospital gown with sick down the front, nothing beneath it, not even knickers, and had a carrier bag with a stale sandwich, an empty handbag and a book in it. So hospitals are no better - probably worse.
Whilst in the care home, mum lost all the usual things - clothes, glasses, etc, and gained a few items that didn't belong to her. That's the way it is... However, the staff know this too... Mum's jewellery could only have been removed by a member of staff, but who can prove that? The manager was horrified and questioned all the staff (which didn't make me very popular!) but there had been several agency staff working in the home over the past several weeks so the blame was put on them.
In the end, it was my fault because I should have removed the jewellery when mum went in there. I'd taken her wedding/engagement rings for safe keeping but that was because they were loose. You just don't expect a vulnerable old person to be robbed but sadly, it does happen sometimes. And let's not forget, our loved ones are in care homes, not in a prison - they should be allowed to keep such things as personal jewellery without fear it will get nicked by opportunistic carers.
Whilst in hospital before the care home, mum 'lost' her gold earrings, her purse (from her handbag) her dentures, 2 pairs of shoes/slippers, and ALL her clothes including a heavy padded jacket. I met her from the ambulance when she arrived at the care home - she was wearing a hospital gown with sick down the front, nothing beneath it, not even knickers, and had a carrier bag with a stale sandwich, an empty handbag and a book in it. So hospitals are no better - probably worse.
My mum nearly lost her engagement and eternity rings in her care home.
I never thought to remove them before she moved in as she never took them off.
Except that one day she did. One of the carers found them in a communal toilet after mum came out. She had obviously taken them off to wash her hands and just left them there. I got them returned to me, fortunately, but it was a salutary lesson and I never took anything valuable or irreplaceable into the care home again.
I never thought to remove them before she moved in as she never took them off.
Except that one day she did. One of the carers found them in a communal toilet after mum came out. She had obviously taken them off to wash her hands and just left them there. I got them returned to me, fortunately, but it was a salutary lesson and I never took anything valuable or irreplaceable into the care home again.
I felt the same when mum's gold bracelet and necklace went missing. She never took them off (couldn't!) and they did not need to be removed for washing, etc.
Whilst in the care home, mum lost all the usual things - clothes, glasses, etc, and gained a few items that didn't belong to her. That's the way it is... However, the staff know this too... Mum's jewellery could only have been removed by a member of staff, but who can prove that? The manager was horrified and questioned all the staff (which didn't make me very popular!) but there had been several agency staff working in the home over the past several weeks so the blame was put on them.
In the end, it was my fault because I should have removed the jewellery when mum went in there. I'd taken her wedding/engagement rings for safe keeping but that was because they were loose. You just don't expect a vulnerable old person to be robbed but sadly, it does happen sometimes. And let's not forget, our loved ones are in care homes, not in a prison - they should be allowed to keep such things as personal jewellery without fear it will get nicked by opportunistic carers.
Whilst in hospital before the care home, mum 'lost' her gold earrings, her purse (from her handbag) her dentures, 2 pairs of shoes/slippers, and ALL her clothes including a heavy padded jacket. I met her from the ambulance when she arrived at the care home - she was wearing a hospital gown with sick down the front, nothing beneath it, not even knickers, and had a carrier bag with a stale sandwich, an empty handbag and a book in it. So hospitals are no better - probably worse.
Bloody **** heh. Yeah know feeling that is shocking they sent your mum like that. You should have complained (I know it all gets too much). Hospital lost mums glasses etc when she was transferred. People just don’t care. I’ve got few of mums nice jewellery but rings were on tight (Obs not ! ) does anyone know if you can claim on care homes insurance??
I doubt you could claim against the care home because they tell you when you take your loved one there to remove all valuables.
As for the hospital, I did complain. Not only about mum's missing teeth and clothes but about the way she was sent out virtually naked. Even the paramedics insisted I kept a couple of their blankets to cover her - it was February! But I got nowhere. I was told I could claim for the lost teeth if I provided receipts, etc, for a new set. But there was far too much going on as mum's decline was very sudden and I had to move her to a care home in a hurry. She wasn't bothered abut the teeth so I never chased it.
Whilst I'm happy to say that most nurses, etc. are absolute angels, I'm sure there are a very small minority of staff who are well aware of all the confusion around old people, ward changes, etc. And those people are probably also well aware of an easy opportunity to steal.
It's good to come here and hear others experiences. Dad went in for step up care and the social worker took him in a bag of clothes so he could wear his own things. The carer took an inventory . I was asked to bring pyjamas and brought in 2 new pairs I purchased. This has all disappeared apart from 2 jumpers. He is mostly wearing odd pyjamas and other peoples stuff that doesn't fit. A lot of the clothes had been fairly new and one shirt was a present. I find it very upsetting also the blasé attitude. It makes me think the place is a shambles and not organised. He has now gone into full time care after 2xweeks but if he had been going home he wouldn't have had any clothes to take. I was told everything would be washed and labeled. His actual care seems good he seems to like it and has made big improvements. I see this is a common problem with clothes and things going missing. Anything i take In now im labelling but these fall off sometimes. Thanks to the person who sent the link for care labels that are tagged just ordered some.
I just feel very upset by this and can't let it go . It's a big step going into care and just seems noones really bothered. I suppose I'll get over it in time. The manager did say they could reimburse me so not sure how long to wait before putting an invoice in in case the stuff turns up. Doesnt seem like a good start.
Thanks also about mentioning about photos as I took one in and found that had been moved so will label that now too.
I just feel very upset by this and can't let it go . It's a big step going into care and just seems noones really bothered. I suppose I'll get over it in time. The manager did say they could reimburse me so not sure how long to wait before putting an invoice in in case the stuff turns up. Doesnt seem like a good start.
Thanks also about mentioning about photos as I took one in and found that had been moved so will label that now too.
Hello @Annefran that was me, and nearly 3 years on I'm still using the 'tag-on' labels but occasionally an item of mum's clothing still goes 'missing' and turns up again weeks later. I also quite regularly find other residents' clothes hanging in mum's wardrobe, even when they have tags on - I found two tops yesterday which I handed to staff. In mum's home the laundry staff tend to get to know the long-term residents' clothes and on the whole mum's clothes usually get put back in her wardrobe after being washed. Hopefully things will improve in your Dad's care home with regards his clothes as it isn't nice to see your parent wearing someone else's clothes, but bear in mind that even with tags on things may go astray sometimes. I think it's a case of having lots of laundry items to deal with on a daily basis so sometimes mistakes will happen. It's a good sign that your Dad has made big improvements since arriving at the home though, so this is hopefully providing some reassurance for you about the level of care that is being providing. Going into a care home is a big change for both you and your Dad, and it can take time to get used to, but I hope he continues to improve and settles in well.
It seems ‘lost property’ is a never-ending issue. My late aunt was admitted to hospital as an emergency. Hence, no preparation. She was discharged to a care home under D2A a few days later. Because of COVID restrictions, I wasn’t allowed to see her for nearly a week. Allegedly, she’d arrived at the home with no teeth, no hearing aids and no spectacles (which she’d worn all her adult life). I queried this with the hospital, they denied all knowledge of everything. The home was adamant that none of these things had come with her from the hospital.
I let it go at that, nothing I could do. I managed to find her several old pairs of specs which I gave to the home, plus buying new underwear and other stuff as requested. As far as I know (I was only allowed one more visit before she died) she never was given the specs, no idea what happened to them. She couldn’t remember she wore glasses.
When she passed away four weeks later, I was invited to collect her ‘belongings’. These consisted of her handbag (decimated of £120 in notes and change, which the home denied all knowledge of), a small amount of jewellery, not including her wedding ring and watch, which the home said she hadn’t been wearing and they couldn’t find in the safe. Plus a book I’d bought her for Christmas, a colouring book and a set of pencils which weren’t hers and she’d never used. Luckily, I later found loads of stuff held by the undertaker which was kindly restored to me, including a lovely pair of new slippers which definitely weren’t hers. Not including the missing money, though! I didn’t want any of her old clothes or the new stuff I’d bought, but I wasn’t offered it.
You can’t cast blame because there is no proof, but I’m appalled at the way our old people (with or without dementia) are not only robbed of their possessions, but robbed of their dignity and their rights, simply because they can do nothing about it.
I let it go at that, nothing I could do. I managed to find her several old pairs of specs which I gave to the home, plus buying new underwear and other stuff as requested. As far as I know (I was only allowed one more visit before she died) she never was given the specs, no idea what happened to them. She couldn’t remember she wore glasses.
When she passed away four weeks later, I was invited to collect her ‘belongings’. These consisted of her handbag (decimated of £120 in notes and change, which the home denied all knowledge of), a small amount of jewellery, not including her wedding ring and watch, which the home said she hadn’t been wearing and they couldn’t find in the safe. Plus a book I’d bought her for Christmas, a colouring book and a set of pencils which weren’t hers and she’d never used. Luckily, I later found loads of stuff held by the undertaker which was kindly restored to me, including a lovely pair of new slippers which definitely weren’t hers. Not including the missing money, though! I didn’t want any of her old clothes or the new stuff I’d bought, but I wasn’t offered it.
You can’t cast blame because there is no proof, but I’m appalled at the way our old people (with or without dementia) are not only robbed of their possessions, but robbed of their dignity and their rights, simply because they can do nothing about it.
It doesn't help when the residents are mobile and don't remember which possessions are theirs. I remember sitting with Mum in her room, and another resident popped in for a chat and noticed her cardigan on the back of the chair. When he asked if it was his jacket I explained that no, it was Mum's cardigan, whereupon he thanked us and walked off with the cardigan. Mum wasn't bothered, and it was labelled and found its way back to her eventually. She has a crochet blanket - sometimes it's her blanket, and sometimes it's someone else's. Mum is quite cavalier about other people's walking sticks, too.
My sister was most impressed by one of the carers who was the day room for some missing teeth. He looked in a vase, pulled out Mums dressing gown belt, and promptly handed it to my sister.
My sister was most impressed by one of the carers who was the day room for some missing teeth. He looked in a vase, pulled out Mums dressing gown belt, and promptly handed it to my sister.
Hi @Annefran and everyone else
I have been moaning about just the same thing recently. My mum went to respite care with a full suitcase of clothes and came back with hardly anything. Everything was labelled too and our CH was very blase about all the missing stuff too. She was often wearing clothes that weren't hers while there. I didn't see anyone in her clothes though!
I just wanted to add a recommendation for labels as well - https://www.petit-fernand.co.uk/ - these are really aimed at kids clothes but a label is a label, isn't it. The stick on labels are very good. They stick to the back neck label or care label in the clothes and will not come off. I've used them on my daughters water bottles and put them through the dishwasher and they still stay stuck. You just peel them off and press them on.
Its good to hear that everyone has this problem.My MIL has 6 or 8 pairs of named trousers and recently at least 4 new long sleeved tops and 6 or 7 good nighties,Currently down to 2 nighties all new socks gone,down to 2 prs trousers and all new long sleeved tops missing,I have been with a carer to laundry to check her clean basket to no avail.I name stamped everything before packing for her but there is obviously a lot of guesswork going on.
One day whilst in The Banjoman’s room one of the laundry ladies brought in some clean washing and I offered to put it away. There was one item that I knew wasn’t his so I took it back to her as she worked her way down the corridor. “Oh, I thought that was his” she said.
Obviously hadn’t looked at any label!
Obviously hadn’t looked at any label!
