Longer term thread - what are you doing ?

[Selinacroft]

Is anyone else bereaved struggling to find a suitable thread- not really about bereavement but just practicalities of what happens next?
I'm clearing out a load of books at the , moment not because i want to throw them or the memories away but because I need to let the room out to keep the house .

 

[Marcelle123]

We are thinking of moving back to York, my home town, and have been readying the house for putting up for sale.
I think of my mother constantly. I have lots of her property and mementoes still, unable to throw them away, and too far away to give them to my brothers and sisters. I suppose the things will have to come with me to York.
Good luck with letting out the room and I hope you are able to find a new life for yourself in your house. Best wishes xx

 

[BIWO]

I understand where you are coming from - I still have 'boxed' in my bedroom the entire contents of my Mums china cabinet/kitchen. A number of items she inherited from her own Mum and MIL when they passed! Loads of photo's which need to be scanned so they are preserved for future generations. My SIL has the same problem - who own Mum passed 30 years ago and still has china etc floating around - can't throw it and not practicable to use, because of fragility.

 

[Selinacroft]

Yes I have china in the cupboard which mum kept (passed on 40 years ago) because they were her mums or dad's mums. Same for the garage - full of old tins stuffed from grandads in the early 1970s. Now its just me and I never even knew the grandparents and have no one to leave things to - who wants them.

 

[hilaryd]

We're in a similar position - lots of lovely china, linens etc that belonged to mum, grandma and great-grandma that are too good just to give away, but that we can't use or store ourselves. Many of these things have spent most of their time in cupboards and ottomans being kept 'for best', which seems so sad. So, after putting aside anything with strong sentimental value and the personal things we will never let go, we've bitten the bullet and booked ourselves a stall at a local vintage fair. We're hoping that many items will go to people who will appreciate them, use them and display them, and we might make some money to donate to charity. Seems the kind of practical approach our mum would have liked too - and she will always be in our hearts and heads more than in the 'stuff'.

 

[marionq]

My sister gave our mothers China and table cloths to the local geriatric unit of the hospital. The ladies liked to have tea parties and a lot of china got broken. My kind sister also baked every week and took it round for their tea parties. Mum would have liked that idea too.

 

[love.dad.but..]

I have a lot of mum and dad personal paperwork and books...sorted and sent to charity a load of things when I sold the house...his 1940s handwritten college books...family history stuff...mum's dolls house hobby things..although I was quite ruthless clearing the house I can also be a sentimental boarder. Have China from MIL and my parents. However as with my best clothes that I am saving for a best day...unlikely to have many..so am trying to use things and clothes for everyday. Also a year on from dad's end of life I have recently re sorted and disgarded more objects as I am not now so emotional about having to keep everything!

 

[Duggies-girl]

I'm going to start clearing my own house of junk because I don't want my son to inherit all of our junk. My dad on the other hand has the tidiest bungalow in the world. His loft is empty other than the TV ariel and there is not much else in his garage.

Our garage is a different matter altogether.

 

[love.dad.but..]

I'm going to start clearing my own house of junk because I don't want my son to inherit all of our junk. My dad on the other hand has the tidiest bungalow in the world. His loft is empty other than the TV ariel and there is not much else in his garage.

Our garage is a different matter altogether.

Yes I understand totally having cleared two houses and mum actually got rid of a lot of stuff in the year before she died that I don't want my children to have to get rid of a lot of our stuff so will try to be more determined. Having said that both my children have their own houses and I still have some of their things...university books etc...I keep dropping hints about taking it. I will have to put a pile out so each time they visit they can take it bit at a time

 

[Duggies-girl]

Yes I understand totally having cleared two houses and mum actually got rid of a lot of stuff in the year before she died that I don't want my children to have to get rid of a lot of our stuff so will try to be more determined. Having said that both my children have their own houses and I still have some of their things...university books etc...I keep dropping hints about taking it. I will have to put a pile out so each time they visit they can take it bit at a time

I am looking at a pile of sons university books on the floor right now. I think they have been there for over a year since they failed to sell on ebay. Perhaps I should try again.

 

[Selinacroft]

Thanks for so many replies- yes I also have a drawer stuffed full of family linen- still packed pretty much by mum over 40 years ago!
I also have a load of school text books for mum and dad from the 1930s that have just inhabited space for the last 50 years or more . They have no ebay value, not really curiosity or old value, pretty tatty and never read or likely to be read. Still I feel reluctant to let them go but I have made progress- loads of old 70s reference books, useful planks stored in shed, old ironing board that dad made- that was hard but I talked myself into departing with that as it had asbestos in it. All gone to the tip.
Today I see in the paper there is a big fire at the tip with black smoke billowing up- perhaps dad is not happy about the iriong board and reaking havok from beyond the grave!!!!!!