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loneliness

annii1

Registered User
Jul 5, 2012
194
west sussex
This terrible illness seems to have made my lovely mum very lonely. Before she was sectioned mum was unhappy at home thinking dad was a stranger in the house, and forgetting people that visited daily, me!, She said she had nothing in her life and would argue, cry, scream and couldn't acknowledge that she had so much in her life, husband, children, grand children that love her and are always there for her.. Now though calmer, taking antipsychotics and in a carehome for 18 months mum says she is lonely, even if we visit daily or every other day her memory has been taken away and she can't remember, she is robbed of the memories in an instant, it's so sad and not fair.
 

daisydi

Registered User
Feb 25, 2015
255
Norfolk
This terrible illness seems to have made my lovely mum very lonely. Before she was sectioned mum was unhappy at home thinking dad was a stranger in the house, and forgetting people that visited daily, me!, She said she had nothing in her life and would argue, cry, scream and couldn't acknowledge that she had so much in her life, husband, children, grand children that love her and are always there for her.. Now though calmer, taking antipsychotics and in a carehome for 18 months mum says she is lonely, even if we visit daily or every other day her memory has been taken away and she can't remember, she is robbed of the memories in an instant, it's so sad and not fair.
I know!
 

WIFE

Registered User
May 23, 2014
856
WEST SUSSEX
Even though I visited my husband in the NH every day for five/six hours, even though he was surrounded by other people, visitors, carers, nurses and in the early months was extremely mobile so could move around his Wing at will he still complained every time I visited that he was lonely. I was on a constant guilt trip but knew I could not have him home due to his increasing medical problems plus the dementia so just made comforting noises and hoped everyday his mood would pass.
 

angecmc

Registered User
Dec 25, 2012
2,108
hertfordshire
Even though I visited my husband in the NH every day for five/six hours, even though he was surrounded by other people, visitors, carers, nurses and in the early months was extremely mobile so could move around his Wing at will he still complained every time I visited that he was lonely. I was on a constant guilt trip but knew I could not have him home due to his increasing medical problems plus the dementia so just made comforting noises and hoped everyday his mood would pass.
Yes, that's what my Dad and I find with my Mum, we too just sympathise and cross our fingers that next visit her mood will be netter, it is so hard xx
 

LYN T

Registered User
Aug 30, 2012
6,960
Brixham Devon
When my Husband first got ill he used to speak about feeling 'lost' and 'lonely'. At the beginning he was surrounded by people who knew him well. I think the 'lost' and 'lonely' feelings are because Dementia sufferers lose sight of their own self. They no longer recognise their own feelings. It's terrible and heartbreaking.

Take care

Lyn T XX
 

Bill Owen

Registered User
Feb 17, 2014
182
67
BRIDGEND
I feel the same

this terrible illness seems to have made my lovely mum very lonely. Before she was sectioned mum was unhappy at home thinking dad was a stranger in the house, and forgetting people that visited daily, me!, she said she had nothing in her life and would argue, cry, scream and couldn't acknowledge that she had so much in her life, husband, children, grand children that love her and are always there for her.. Now though calmer, taking antipsychotics and in a carehome for 18 months mum says she is lonely, even if we visit daily or every other day her memory has been taken away and she can't remember, she is robbed of the memories in an instant, it's so sad and not fair.
my wife who is only 58 young. By the way im dislex so baerr with me .she dose not know her two new grand childran . Nor her too dargther .or me .i feel this has taken her away far to young from us .me my wife had so match to look forward to . Now i look after her . Have no holladays to look farward to . No futcher. Barthdays no longer mean anything. Crishmas means nothing .it its you has well big time belive me . My wife go to a care home 5 days a wekk for 5 hour. I pick her up . Then by 5 to 6 pm gose to bed left on my owen . Im a young 62 man . Missing all the things that we should be haveing .( no my wife fault but this terrible illness.lewy boady
 

annii1

Registered User
Jul 5, 2012
194
west sussex
Even though I visited my husband in the NH every day for five/six hours, even though he was surrounded by other people, visitors, carers, nurses and in the early months was extremely mobile so could move around his Wing at will he still complained every time I visited that he was lonely. I was on a constant guilt trip but knew I could not have him home due to his increasing medical problems plus the dementia so just made comforting noises and hoped everyday his mood would pass.
Thankyou, you obviously understand.
 

annii1

Registered User
Jul 5, 2012
194
west sussex
When my Husband first got ill he used to speak about feeling 'lost' and 'lonely'. At the beginning he was surrounded by people who knew him well. I think the 'lost' and 'lonely' feelings are because Dementia sufferers lose sight of their own self. They no longer recognise their own feelings. It's terrible and heartbreaking.

Take care

Lyn T XX
Lyn that is such a good way to think about it, dementia does seem to take away the sense of self, Thankyou your words have made me think.
 

annii1

Registered User
Jul 5, 2012
194
west sussex
my wife who is only 58 young. By the way im dislex so baerr with me .she dose not know her two new grand childran . Nor her too dargther .or me .i feel this has taken her away far to young from us .me my wife had so match to look forward to . Now i look after her . Have no holladays to look farward to . No futcher. Barthdays no longer mean anything. Crishmas means nothing .it its you has well big time belive me . My wife go to a care home 5 days a wekk for 5 hour. I pick her up . Then by 5 to 6 pm gose to bed left on my owen . Im a young 62 man . Missing all the things that we should be haveing .( no my wife fault but this terrible illness.lewy boady
Bill, so young, you and your lovely wife.
 

Canadian Joanne

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 8, 2005
16,423
66
Toronto, Canada
I'm afraid the loneliness is internal and it seems that nothing we can do can alter it. It's can be so disheartening to arrange days out, nice meals, etc and have our loved ones forget immediately.

But - WE know we did as much as we could and that's the best we can do.
 

Anotherdamnlol

Registered User
May 2, 2015
23
I have the same, leading up to her diagnosis my mum complained she was lonely even though she went out to activities, saw friends etc. now she complains she's lonely in the ch and doesn't know anyone.
 

patsy56

Registered User
Jan 14, 2015
839
Fife Scotland
I have the same, leading up to her diagnosis my mum complained she was lonely even though she went out to activities, saw friends etc. now she complains she's lonely in the ch and doesn't know anyone.
My mother also complains of loneliness, when dad 1st died, people rallied round asked her to go to coffee mornings, join the church, outings, she just seemed to go into her personal grief, which over time has lost her friends. Now with the dementia, she just sits. When cares come in and chat she just doesn't want them, she just wants to be on her own, and complain.
 

katek

Registered User
Jan 19, 2015
191
Hello my mam has dementia when people mention about sectioning a individual, does this maybe come in the later stages of dementia ?
Hi

Sectioning (under the 1983 Mental Health Act) is necessary when the person is considered to be putting their own and/or others' safety at risk, and would not necessarily happen in the later stages of dementia, if, indeed, at all. It just depends on how the illness manifests itself. It could happen if, say, the person becomes violent, and/or resists personal care to the extent that it takes several people to manage, which is the case with my father. People in the very late stages are more likely to be bedbound or physically more frail, and their behaviour less challenging.
 

katie1

Registered User
Aug 5, 2014
122
Kendal Cumbria
I do not know much about how the condition affects different people, but just reading these posts makes me wonder how many of these individuals need treatment for depression. Could relatives check this out and see if it is possible to treat for depression, the dementia could be masking an undiagnosed condition if treated it could help enormously.
 

annii1

Registered User
Jul 5, 2012
194
west sussex
Mum was naturally very depressed after my brother died, I feel maybe this expedited the dementia in a way. Mum was on antidepressants but no counselling was offered which looking back I think might have helped.