Living with Auntie


Registered User
Jan 9, 2013
Today I have joined this forum as I am becoming increasingly concerned about my elderly Aunt M (86yrs) who has been living with us since July 2011. I probably need to give some background so others who read this can build up a picture. My Aunt has never been married and has never lived independently apart from a brief spell after my mum died, she lived with her mother until she died then moved in with her brother and lived there for about 20yrs, then when my father died she moved in with my mum (her sister). Sadly mum died in October 2010 Aunt M lived in her house until July 2011 when she moved in with us. Over the last six months she has become increasingly forgetful, particularly where money is concerned, she regularly panics about her bank account saying money is being paid in which she is not entitled to, I do constantly reassure her but this crops up every so often. She spends most of the day in her room watching TV from early morning till night. In the evening she has dinner with us then sits with us until bed time. Quite often we can have days where she says hardly anything to us and often looks right through you as if you are not there. She has no interests apart from TV and going to church. She frequently forgets what day it is and does ask the same questions quite a bit, She also goes into sulks quite often and could go days without holding any conversation, although we do try. She seems to have taken a dislike to my husband, which is causing quite a bit of stress as he does not keep good health. Friends say she is quite rude, I feel that I am caught in the middle of this conflict. I have not spoken to the Doctor as I am not sure how to approach it. I wonder if I am doing too much for her, I cook all her main meals, clean the room and do her washing etc. Some advice would be appreciated?


Registered User
Nov 7, 2011
Hello Hera

Welcome to Talking Point.

Gosh, your aunt's circumstances sound really unusual. Imagine never having had any real independence. I doubt if she's going to start at 86. :D

I don't know what to suggest but others will be along with ideas. However, I can fully understand your husband's reaction. If my OH had tried to move his elderly maiden aunt in with us, especially if she was difficult, then I don't think I could have put up with it for a week, let alone eighteen months.