Live alone?

Discussion in 'I have dementia' started by Jaffy, Aug 14, 2015.

  1. Jaffy

    Jaffy Registered User

    Oct 24, 2013
    168
    Ohio USA
    Love to know how to live alone with Parkinson's and dementia. Doctor (my dau. suggested it to him) thinks hubby and i should separate! With both of us with the same things, we don't get along too well. So have been trying to figure it all out; financially UGH! and how to support him emotionally. Doc said "Think of yourself not him!" How after 47 years? But I CAN NOT go on - I AM through! REALLY! But what about him? No one wants him and he doesn't like to be alone. I could live in a cave alone! Know of any where I could move? How do you do it or do you?
     
  2. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,829
    UK
    What a Question Jaffy, such emotion and turmoil, sounds like you have your daughter's support. So sorry, but all I can say is do what is right for you, otherwise you will not be able to support anybody. Feeble answer I know.
     
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,655
    Kent
    People make suggestions but don`t offer help to carry them out.

    Perhaps if you put the Doctor and your daughter on the spot and asked for help to do this, it might be made easier for you Jaffy.
     
  4. Sue J

    Sue J Registered User

    Dec 9, 2009
    8,042

    That's a very good point Sylvia because others often see that a situation could be improved if you 'just do this' but they don't understand that you can't 'just do this' . Put them on the spot Jaffy and ask how they propose you do it, and that you need their help to do so.
     
  5. sistermillicent

    sistermillicent Registered User

    Jan 30, 2009
    2,951
    I would be cautious about this, I agree that people suggest things without thinking it through, so they need to come up with the answers to how you go about it.

    But I also believe that you don't know what you've got till it's gone and would say don't make this sort of change until you have had some in depth talks about it with an impartial friend. That doesn't mean don't do it, just it's a really huge decision.
     
  6. garnuft

    garnuft Registered User

    Sep 7, 2012
    6,589
    One thing seems clear and that is that something has to change.

    It's good that you could live on your own but you're already recognising that you will worry about him.

    I would say what you need is, as Sister M said, some constructive ideas and real information about actual support your husband will have.
    That's the only way you're going to be able to retreat to your cave, without the worry and fretting about his care adding to your burden.

    Let the people who care for you, know, in no uncertain terms, that however things may seem, his care and happiness are still intrinsic to yours.

    I hope you are able to find a way through this. x
     
  7. Jaffy

    Jaffy Registered User

    Oct 24, 2013
    168
    Ohio USA
    No, it isn't a feeble answer, you care and that means a lot. Thanks. By the way I can move in with at least 3 may all 4 of my kids but I don't want to.
     

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