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Life in a washing machine

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by di65, May 9, 2015.

  1. di65

    di65 Registered User

    Feb 28, 2013
    772
    new zealand
    Well - that what my head feels like at the moment. Every afternoon Lex decides we HAVE to go for a drive somewhere. So, this afternoon we went and delivered some bulletins that I have written for my Inner Wheel Club. Pouring with rain, but it had to be done. When we got home after about an hour, he wanted to know when we were going out for a drive :eek: After continual questions about this I said we would go out and have a meal at the local Club. For the last three hours there has not been more than 10 seconds where he hasn't been asking a question about it. My head is spinning at a thousand revolutions a second. Now apparently his wife has gone up town and not told anyone where she is and when she would be back (if only I COULD run away!!!!!) He has now started going out to the gate and looking for the car that was coming to help sew the curtains (??). I don't know how long I can answer all of his questions without starting to scream. However, I have been continually accused of arguing with him and changing my mind and to get my s**t together.
    I don't know how much more of this I can take. The Memory Clinic doctor has asked on many occasions if I have had enough yet - maybe next time I might say YES:(
     
  2. Kjn

    Kjn Registered User

    Jul 27, 2013
    5,835
    Oh bless you, it's so hard. Maybe you could say we will go out shortly, go out tomorrow, get his attention into something else, does he have anything he enjoys doing. We get my dad colouring in now .
    My mum is dads carer so has the same , he goes through phases of his moods and wanting to do things .
    Do you have help at all , are there any groups in your area to attend together or an age UK type thing (if there is something like that over there)? Where you can leave him so you get some space to yourself.
    My parents are still able to attend clubs which is tiring for mum but gets dad out of the house which improves his mood, Friday's he is at his club for 4 hrs.

    Stay strong xx
     
  3. di65

    di65 Registered User

    Feb 28, 2013
    772
    new zealand
    Lex has daycare two days a week, so I do get some quiet days. As for trying to distract him - however short everything else stays in his mind NOTHING detracts from his daily drive :(. I have tried everything I can think of and have run out ideas.
    At 6& (6years post diagnosis) he is still active, and these non-stop talking session accompany his incessant walking about the house.

    DAMN this disease !!!!!!!!
     
  4. pamann

    pamann Registered User

    Oct 28, 2013
    2,635
    Kent
    Hello Di65 my hubby is just the same, all day long since the elections, all he says is David Carmeron wants him in the Government!!! He looks out of the window waiting for him to collect him in his car, he talks constantly to the people on TV as he thinks they are talking to him, l know how you feel, l take him out in the car most days, life is so hard for us.
     
  5. di65

    di65 Registered User

    Feb 28, 2013
    772
    new zealand
    Yes Pamann, I am starting to realise that the TV has a lot to do with his conversations. I am glad that your hubby has the same political ideas as David Cameron, or else it could be awkward if he was in an opposition party:D
     
  6. colincampsite

    colincampsite Registered User

    Jun 4, 2011
    33
    Darlington
    Di, You have a good point. Try a bit (lot) of humour. That's what I find works with the wife. She is constantly laughing. I know that sometimes humour does not come easily. In fact it is the last thing you need, or is it?
     
  7. patsy56

    patsy56 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2015
    840
    Fife Scotland
    oh I sympathise so much, I think I have this yet to come, but yes mater has to have a daily drive, which is of course out the question, the care agency take her out two days a week. And don't ask about day care........I don't go out they can come to me. (sigh)
     
  8. pamann

    pamann Registered User

    Oct 28, 2013
    2,635
    Kent
    Hello di65 l have just told my hubby that l have phoned David Cameron to tell him you are waiting, he is so sorry, but he has enough MPs now so will no longer require your services. Hubby is very releived, so maybe we won't hear anymore about it, you have to make up stories sometimes it works. Try to make fun of it not always easy
     
  9. di65

    di65 Registered User

    Feb 28, 2013
    772
    new zealand
    The sad thing is I can't make a jovial quip these days - it goes right over the top. He used to have such a sharp sense of humour:(. I feel increasingly alone in his company
     
  10. Kjn

    Kjn Registered User

    Jul 27, 2013
    5,835
    The TV definately has a lot to do with conversations. My mum lets dad have news on, I turn it over to sport which he likes watching or documentaries instead.
     
  11. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    8,007
    Norfolk
    It's like that here, too, but surprisingly, he's settled down in hospital now, Di. They saw what I've been living with the last 6.5 years and have finally acknowledged things ain't wot they're s'posed to be, which is a bit of a light at the end of this dark tunnel. Still waiting to see where it all leads...

    Strength and courage to you.
     
  12. patsy56

    patsy56 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2015
    840
    Fife Scotland
    Huggs I know what you mean
     
  13. WIFE

    WIFE Registered User

    May 23, 2014
    857
    WEST SUSSEX
    Thank goodness - at last. Praying you now get the help you so deserve and obviously desperately need. Accept anything offered Chuggalug - don't be resistant. Just so relieved for you. WIFE P.S. How is the husband doing?
     
  14. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    8,007
    Norfolk
    Thanks Wife. All updates on me own thread, when you've time :) xxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  15. di65

    di65 Registered User

    Feb 28, 2013
    772
    new zealand
    Groundhog Day today. Same problem, different questions. It was Mother's Day here today, the worst one I have ever had :(. Couldn't/wouldn't understand I wanted to stay at home and not go for his daily drive. Went to the cemetery and then his Mum in the morning, but he couldn't remember this and started on about a drive about 2 o'clock. I was naturally expecting the boys and their families to turn up, but had to put up with the non-stop barrage about me being selfish not wanting a drive and all the other rubbish that I come to expect these days. I eventually gave in after the family went home and took a spin around the town, arriving home in time to cook tea. I am just SOOOO tired.......
     

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