I had to be quite assertive this lunchtime to persuade my husband to get out of bed.
He had been in bed since Friday afternoon with no food and enough water to take his meds which isn't the ideal on an empty stomach. I had made him homemade vegetable soup but he protested it was too much, it wasn't and eventually did eat it. He then ate tinned pears and evaporated milk which is a throw back to his childhood and still loves.
We'd had a conversation as such, a week ago re finger food in the fridge rather than over facing him with meals that seem to overwhelm him. He had cheese, raisins, grapes, mini cocktail sausages, pork pies and sausage rolls. Yoghurt, Jelly, Mousse, Trifle, Egg Custards, Milk Pudding and Digestive Biscuits but everything except the desserts had to be thrown out as they exhausted their expiry date.
He forgets to look in the fridge and relies on me to prepare food.
He will eat sweet things so that is what he is going to have, as I can't see the point of making him even more sad and unhappy.
It really helps when people share so I know I am not alone. A relief to hear sleep patterns are upside down.
Every day brings another challenge for him and me, but mostly for him. It's heartbreaking witnessing his frustration as he struggles for words, thoughts, and memory and I cry a lot. When he is awake he just sits staring into space, or falls sleep but very occasionally watches depressing news.
He was an avid reader but no longer reads and we have tried audio books but he loses concentration or again falls asleep. He's survived three heart attacks from the age of 37yrs, 47yrs and 60yrs.
After the middle one he had a triple bypass.
He exercised playing golf 3 times a week and enjoyed our son's holiday home in Spain.
Loved to travel.
He cries quie a lot.
He cries because he is no longer in control.
He cries because he is so confused.
He cries because of what he thinks he is putting me through.
He cries because his family are not local.
He cries because his strength is sapping away.
He cries because of depression.
He cries when he sees me doing everything.
He cries because he can no longer drive.
So many things are taken away when someone suffers this dreadful debilitating embarrassing illness.
I can't call it an illness can I?
Who made the decision that dementia isn't an illness and doesn't warrant care from the NHS.
Is it self-inflicted??
Does it have another name??
If so please enlighten me!!
He is 85 yrs old and I am 81 yrs old and we have worked every day since we left school, me 15yrs old and my Husband 17yrs.
Including him serving National Service for his King and country.
We have paid National Health Contributions and taxes all our life.
We can proudly hold our heads high for the people we are.
Sorry rant over, but I am feeling angry, frustrated, fearful, scared etc., and I don't for the life of me understand our Governments behaviour.