I have not used the site for some time as my husband is now in a nursing home. however I well remember when I was really struggling and buckling under the strain of caring for John at home. He was sooo challenging and I was exhausted and heartbroken at the loss of my lovely John, and the replacement by this vicious angry stranger who harangued me for all the ills of his life.
I wrote a pm at the time to Sylvia whose blog I read avidly. It helped explain so much and her honest depiction of her life with her husband made me feel not so alone.
She told me that later stages may well bring more loving calmness to John. I found it so hard to believe - and could n't quite believe it.
Eventually John went into a very good Care Home for 2 years and started to calm down. Then when he needed a Nursing Home I couldn't find a good one that actually had vacancies. There is a massive shortage of EMI nursing places, and the one he went into couldn't cope with him.
He is now in a NHS assessment centre and they have transformed him both Physically and mentally. He is so calm and relaxed, happy even and it is a joy to visit him. I have got my John back in terms of his loving nature I am so thrilled.
They achieved this not with extra drugs, but with skilled care and attention. They are writing a Care plan detailing the techniques and skills required for his care on discharge. it will involve extra staffing requirements which will be met by the authorities. Because he was sectioned under section 2 then section 3 of the Mental health regs, it is now the hospital's duty to ensure he gets the right Nursing home and the costs will all be met by the authorities.
He is still only 67 and now I can relax and enjoy his company once more and look forward to visiting him.
Although there have been ups and downs and there will be more in the future, I have coped, we are coming through it and I have learned to live for the present and not worry about the past trials or any future ones. For now I have my John back.
Sylvia told me all this was possible and her advice was invaluable - as was all the others I had from this site. Thank You all.
Jackie Shaughnessy
I wrote a pm at the time to Sylvia whose blog I read avidly. It helped explain so much and her honest depiction of her life with her husband made me feel not so alone.
She told me that later stages may well bring more loving calmness to John. I found it so hard to believe - and could n't quite believe it.
Eventually John went into a very good Care Home for 2 years and started to calm down. Then when he needed a Nursing Home I couldn't find a good one that actually had vacancies. There is a massive shortage of EMI nursing places, and the one he went into couldn't cope with him.
He is now in a NHS assessment centre and they have transformed him both Physically and mentally. He is so calm and relaxed, happy even and it is a joy to visit him. I have got my John back in terms of his loving nature I am so thrilled.
They achieved this not with extra drugs, but with skilled care and attention. They are writing a Care plan detailing the techniques and skills required for his care on discharge. it will involve extra staffing requirements which will be met by the authorities. Because he was sectioned under section 2 then section 3 of the Mental health regs, it is now the hospital's duty to ensure he gets the right Nursing home and the costs will all be met by the authorities.
He is still only 67 and now I can relax and enjoy his company once more and look forward to visiting him.
Although there have been ups and downs and there will be more in the future, I have coped, we are coming through it and I have learned to live for the present and not worry about the past trials or any future ones. For now I have my John back.
Sylvia told me all this was possible and her advice was invaluable - as was all the others I had from this site. Thank You all.
Jackie Shaughnessy
