Bruce,
So could you not get carers in to give care at home? Don't get me wrong, I am not questioning what you are doing. With mum I just have this nagging voice that says I could have given up work; we could have employed nursing care; then there is the other part of me that knows how tired and exhausted dad was, getting up several times a night, stuggling to get mum to the loo, dressed and undressed, on his own etc. You saying
Amy
So could you not get carers in to give care at home? Don't get me wrong, I am not questioning what you are doing. With mum I just have this nagging voice that says I could have given up work; we could have employed nursing care; then there is the other part of me that knows how tired and exhausted dad was, getting up several times a night, stuggling to get mum to the loo, dressed and undressed, on his own etc. You saying
has unsettled me; I was always told "there's no such word as can't", so have we really done enough?Mum is no problem to care for, just totally physically dependent; at the nursing home yesterday the manageress said "she's such a gracious lady" - she can't speak or do anything, but she will smile. But the idea of dad having to take the load again, and me living in fear of the phone ringing, I just would not want to go there again. I know dad is lonely, but he is coping. I hate the idea of mum being alone (we have insisted that she spends most of her time in the main lounge, because she does watch things around her, though what she sees we don't know, but the care staff talk to her as they pass.) As you said on another thread Bruce, the final stages could be another 5 or 10 years, or it could end tomorrow; I don't think (no, I know that)neither dad or I could take another 5 years of caring at home. Sorry, this has all come out a bit mixed up, but your comment threw me a bit.therefore my advice to you is - if you are able - do it, for your sake and for hers.
Amy