Ken's first five days in CH


Registered User
Sep 27, 2006
The Care Home is wonderful. The staff are kind and caring, all the residents are beautifully dressed and appear quite happy. Several residents have at various times 'kicked off' and shown quite difficult behaviour which has been dealt with in a calm and pleasant manner by the staff. The whole place is clean, warm and welcoming and I cannot believe how lucky I am to have got him a place there. I have spent hours and hours each day with Ken and just cannot speak too highly of the level of care and the welcome feeling of the place.

However this week has been very stressful as you can guess. Ken is back to the old habit of hallucinating me from other lady residents. This is the one thing we didn't want! The consultant warned me that if the staff can't cope with this and he upsets the other residents too much, then he will have to go back on the ward. Yesterday was particularly difficult for me as I actually saw this happening. I arrived on the little car space which is opposite the dining room, just as they were having lunch. I could clearly see Ken through the window get up from his seat, march over to a little old lady and try to get hold of her. I dashed out of the car and tapped on the window to him. He was very confused and when I went into the home he wasn't sure who I was! I think this was the lowest point for me this week.

When Ken was in hospital last November the Consultant on the ward sent him 2 days each week from the ward to be assessed at a day care centre because she wanted to see if he still had the hallucination problem when in a different environment. The hospital staff then stopped his lunchtime medication because they couldn't be bothered to put it in a correctly labelled container which I could then take to the Day Care Staff.

I could see that he did need his lunchtime medication as he became very upset and anxious at that time of the day and when he stopped going to the day care centre I asked them to reinstate this. The Ward Manager told me he was being given extra in the mornings and in the evenings instead and didn't need it at lunchtime.

Ken had been placed on a section 3 of the Mental Health Act and I could only bring him off the ward for two hours each day. The day after I complained, instead of giving him the medication, they told me that I could now only take him off the ward for 1 hour and only for two afternoons as I obviously couldn't manage him. I quickly learned after this not to ask for anything!!

Today as I arrived at the Nursing home the manager (quite independant of me saying anything) told me that the staff felt he needed a little extra medication at lunchtime!!! She felt that this would help him as he was suffering anxiety attacks around that time each day. I nearly cried with relief and told her the sorry tale of what had happened at the hospital. She wasn't surprised at all but assured me that she would arrange for Ken to have his lunchtime medication reinstated as she could see he was suffering and needed it.

My little moment of fame when I will be 'talking to the nation' about my experiences of getting a good care home will be broadcast on on the Radio 4 'Today' programme any day of the week beginning 28th April between 7am and 9am. The journalist who interviewed me said that he would let me know when he finds out the exact day and time my little piece will be aired.

I'm so relieved that Ken was much calmer today when I left him. It has been a very stressful week for both of us.


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Registered User
Nov 28, 2005
Hello Tina:

Thank you for sharing your very eventful week. No wonder it was stressful and I truly hope that next week will be better. Maybe as Ken gets more settled in the CH he will be happier. They are obviously very caring and vigilant regarding medication.

After this very difficult period I trust you can relax a little and enjoy your visiting times with Ken.

Take care Love Jan


Registered User
Mar 7, 2004
Dear Tine, can only try to imagine what an emotional roller coaster it has been for you this week.

Obviously you so want this move to work. From what you have said about the Ward Manager, it would seem that at least they are prepared to work with you and Ken, in order for him to settle.

Early days Tina, but the signs seem positive. Stay strong. Thinking about you, love n'hugs.

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Dear Tina.

The attitude of the home manager must give you some confidence. So must the good qualities of the home.So althought it`s only the first week, there are enough positives to give you hope. You are probably so anxious and overwrought, you are not yet feeling the benefit .

Ken is bound to be disorientated. Hopefully once Ken gets his lunch time medication he will became less agitated.
Did the lunch time medication help his hallucinations of you?

From an objective point of view, so far, so good. I hope it continues.

Love xx


Registered User
Mar 27, 2008
Hello Tina

When I read your post I was so pleased for you when they suggested giving Ken the lunchtime medication. I could almost feel your relief. This must instill more confidence in your choice of home and it would be good to hear your moment of "talking to the nation". Please let us know when we might listen in.

Very best wishes



Registered User
Feb 20, 2008
West Yorkshire
Dear Tina

Thank you for letting us know about Kens first week in his new home. I think you knew it could be a difficult transition. But thankfully the staff have been able to manage Kens medication properly, and have gone to lengths to help him settle. This must be such a relief after your negative experiences in hospital. You have worked so hard to make things easier for Ken, but you knew it could get tricky. I wont say dont worry!
It might take a little longer for him to settle in the end, being realistic you cant expect anything else with dementia. The home sounds marvellous, you have done so well to find it. It also seems as though it could be even exceeding expectations!
At least all your forward planning means that you dont have to worry about any other issues about the quality of Ken's care. So you will be able to concentrate on helping him to settle.
I look forward to hearing the programme, do let us know when its on!( Will TP be getting a plug?!)
take care

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