Just needed to SHOUT this out.


Registered User
Jan 27, 2006
:mad: Although this happened a week or so ago this still [Annoys] me. Whilst at work someone asked me if i had Alzheimer's, as i didn't get her order done properly. I work in [catering].
I just looked at her and said [thanks my father does though].
What i really wanted to say was[ I might have later on though has my father has].
Because i know she was trying to joke with me and came off feeling sorry she has said it, i let it go. But she keeps wanting to say hallo to me at work when i see her, and all i want to do is tell her to leave me alone and go get an education. If you get my drift.

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
I get your drift Jan. Some people just don`t get it though, do they.
Don`t waste your energy worrying about it.
Love xx


Registered User
May 13, 2008
Portsmouth, England
People can be so thoughtless - put it down to ignorance on her part. I dont suppose she will ever make the same mistake again. I can understand how you feel but try to move past it and dont let it get to you. Best wishes from Sue


Registered User
Sep 18, 2008
hi jan

i think people who have not been affected by dementia, be it themselves or someone they know, may not understand the effects these sweeping statements have. i just hope none of these people end up having to endure the pain that dementia causes. just ignore it and put it down to what it is....ignorance

love n hugs
maddie xx


Registered User
Jul 20, 2008
Hello Maddie

I was one of those people. Until dementia entered into my world (my husband has a dementia) I didn't know anything at all. I just thought Alzheimers - forgets things and wanders!!! I never thought about the caring aspect - I just took for granted that the system would have a good care structure.

Our family has not needed to use the health system much therefore we are all quite ignorant and problems have been relatively minor - the kind that the system can deal with easily.

In my heart of hearts, I don't think I want other people to fully understand what living with a dementia means because it seems like creating unnecessary suffering. I don't mean that I advocate keeping people ignorant, I think I mean that I wouldn't want people to know the depth of sorrow that I now know.


Sweet Pea

Registered User
Dec 20, 2006
North Yorkshire
I'm sure that people wouldn't make the same 'flippant' remark about cancer. But it seems to me that any mental illnesses are ridiculed or at best talked about in hushed tones.
These people are ignorant, and some would say lucky, as they obviously haven't experienced dementia. However, I believe that those of us who have are blessed with insight, tolerance and compassion.
Let it go, and continue being the wonderful person that you are


Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
But she keeps wanting to say hallo to me at work when i see her, and all i want to do is tell her to leave me alone and go get an education. If you get my drift.
Jan, I really think you've got through to this woman. It sounds as if she has realised how much she has upset you.

Why not take this opportunity to give her that education? Ask her if she'd like to know more, tell her your experiences.

You never know, you may make a convert who will work for AS -- and a new friend!:)

Love and hugs,