My mom has dementia my husband helped me through it, but he has recently died of aspiration pneumonia
due to radioi therapy he had 10 years ago for tongue cancer, i am devastated i don't know what to do
i feel so lonely now and frightened of having to deal with mom alone, don't know if i can get through this
awful time, it was sudden all happened in a couple of weeks.
At this moment, as with all unexpected events of this nature, everything seems to stand still amidst a very real cloud of despair and utter despondency. The loss of a loved one alone fragments all thinking, dispels all that at one time seemed important in daily life and the pain is felt deep inside and it is a fundamentally personal pain. Yet, from what you have stated here, it is clear that you will get through all of this, as you have bravely, along with your late husband, lived through his cancer. Your mother needs you, despite all the challenging demands of her dementia, and in that natural, yet all so meaningful way, you need her.
Any bereavement, whether expected or unexpected, remains just that and it is very personal and only you will know just how you feel. And only you will know when that time comes to continue living your life and caring for your mother. But you deserve and must be allowed that space in which to converse with yourself and release all the angst and emotion as and when you see fit. Then, when
the loneliness and fearfulness dissipates, you might then find that strength to cope is there and has always been there.
With the warmest of wishes.
