I have never posted on here before but have been getting advice from the lovely, brave, humorous and caring people here for a few years now and it has given me comfort and strength.
I am afraid I don’t have any advice to offer, I just want to have a moan if you will indulge me.
My grandmother died in 2015 of Alzheimer’s, and I never thought I would have to deal with it again so soon after. However both of my parents have had dementia for a few years now; mum has Mixed Dementia and dad is not diagnosed.
We have been living with this reality for several years but the last few months have been really tough. It became apparent they are not showering, cooking, taking medication, washing clothes or cleaning, so I am now in charge of all of these. I have 1 sibling who is supportive and pitches in as much as possible but lives almost an hour away. We have just started 2 x 30 mins daily carer visits and I am hoping that this routine will settle down soon, and will help to ease the load on me. I don’t begrudge doing it for a second but I am so sad for them that they are in this situation.
I am angry. So angry. I want to stamp my feet like a child.
Why is this happening to us? Why both of them? It is so much to deal with at once.
It is not fair that my brilliant, funny, intelligent, caring parents have been stolen away and what has been left behind are two people I barely recognise. All our shared memories, the fun times, the not so fun times, in-jokes, places we have been, stories about family and friends. The support and love.
It takes all their dignity away from them.
I miss them so much, even though I can still see them.
Now it is just worry, stress, repetition, suspicion and upset. And it is only going to get worse. I am tired and drained now; how am I going to get through this? I don’t remember the last time I enjoyed myself or felt happy or hopeful.
I am thrust in to a role I didn’t apply for and am not qualified to do. I don’t know what I am doing.
It is not fair. It isn’t for any of us, whether a carer at present, suffering with this terrible disease or if you have lost a loved one.
I know there is always someone worse off, but I don’t feel like counting my blessings right now. I ain’t writing no gratitude journal today. There is no “at least….” to make me feel better. I am angry, and sad, and scared. And it is ok to say so.
For everyone else going through this, I send you love and best wishes. Thank you for listening.
I am afraid I don’t have any advice to offer, I just want to have a moan if you will indulge me.
My grandmother died in 2015 of Alzheimer’s, and I never thought I would have to deal with it again so soon after. However both of my parents have had dementia for a few years now; mum has Mixed Dementia and dad is not diagnosed.
We have been living with this reality for several years but the last few months have been really tough. It became apparent they are not showering, cooking, taking medication, washing clothes or cleaning, so I am now in charge of all of these. I have 1 sibling who is supportive and pitches in as much as possible but lives almost an hour away. We have just started 2 x 30 mins daily carer visits and I am hoping that this routine will settle down soon, and will help to ease the load on me. I don’t begrudge doing it for a second but I am so sad for them that they are in this situation.
I am angry. So angry. I want to stamp my feet like a child.
Why is this happening to us? Why both of them? It is so much to deal with at once.
It is not fair that my brilliant, funny, intelligent, caring parents have been stolen away and what has been left behind are two people I barely recognise. All our shared memories, the fun times, the not so fun times, in-jokes, places we have been, stories about family and friends. The support and love.
It takes all their dignity away from them.
I miss them so much, even though I can still see them.
Now it is just worry, stress, repetition, suspicion and upset. And it is only going to get worse. I am tired and drained now; how am I going to get through this? I don’t remember the last time I enjoyed myself or felt happy or hopeful.
I am thrust in to a role I didn’t apply for and am not qualified to do. I don’t know what I am doing.
It is not fair. It isn’t for any of us, whether a carer at present, suffering with this terrible disease or if you have lost a loved one.
I know there is always someone worse off, but I don’t feel like counting my blessings right now. I ain’t writing no gratitude journal today. There is no “at least….” to make me feel better. I am angry, and sad, and scared. And it is ok to say so.
For everyone else going through this, I send you love and best wishes. Thank you for listening.
