1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

  1. RHCP

    RHCP Registered User

    Apr 3, 2015
    11
    Good day to anyone who reads this .. Unsure how site works yet as have decided to join this forum after reading posts over the last few weeks. I think I'm going to need support in the next few weeks/months/years?? with supporting my mum who has Alzheimers. She was diagnosed about 3 yrs ago but we have vaguely called it dementia but was told this week it is AD. Her symptoms have become worse in the past 2 months and we (my 2 sisters and I) think she needs 24 hr care so starting the long process. I have also realised that I have/am suffering from anticipatory grief big time! Soooo, thought this site may help sometimes. Sorry to sound so selfish. I want to extend best wishes to all on this site who are dealing in whatever way with this awful illness. I hope I may offer words of comfort and receive some occasionally. I'm going to remain positive. :) Thanks for reading!
     
  2. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,215
    Merseyside
    Welcome to TP:)
    You'll get lots of support here.
     
  3. RHCP

    RHCP Registered User

    Apr 3, 2015
    11
    Thanks Cat27. Will have to try and catch up with other posts. Appreciate you replying.
     
  4. chris53

    chris53 Registered User

    Nov 9, 2009
    2,929
    London
    Good Afternoon RHCP:) and a warm welcome to you to Talking Point, glad you have found us,much support and understanding here and even smiles..although sometimes hard to do in dementia world:eek: i done my grieving when mum seemed different 6 years ago..sadly not long after, my mum in law joined her-mum has Alzheimers and mum in law vascular dementia-so all experiences from us carers is always so valuable and makes you feel not so alone, so please no more thoughts of being selfish, you are not:D
    Take care and best wishes,look forward to seeing you again.
    Chris x
     
  5. RHCP

    RHCP Registered User

    Apr 3, 2015
    11
    Thank you Chris. I feel it will be helpful to feel one's not alone! Sounds like you have a lot of experience and I'm sorry you've had to watch two loved ones suffer. See you again, and thanx :eek:
     
  6. henfenywfach

    henfenywfach Registered User

    May 23, 2013
    333
    rct
    Hi! Welcome from another person caring for a parent.in my case my dad!
    Talkingpoint is so valuable..because eventhough people can be caring and supportive..they cant possibly understand how your feeling or how things might be for your mum.
    On talking point we accept all our situations are different but we re honest and have a wealth of experience of the good and bad.

    Ps dementia friends sessions will help people around you understand more..that why ive done the champion training..to run sessions. As others have round britain. We ve not sat back moaning they dont undetstand we re doing something about it..
    Best wishes


    Sent from my GT-I9505 using Talking Point mobile app
     
  7. RHCP

    RHCP Registered User

    Apr 3, 2015
    11

    Thanks for post. Appreciate it. I know I will gain knowledge and support from TP. I hope things are ok for you and your dad at the moment. I send best wishes right back! Take care.
     
  8. chick1962

    chick1962 Registered User

    Apr 3, 2014
    11,280
    Female
    near Folkestone
    A big welcome from me too :) my husband is 4 years into this journey and the help and support I get on here are fantastic . Made some lovely friends as well :) x


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  9. RHCP

    RHCP Registered User

    Apr 3, 2015
    11
    Thank you so much for responding to my post. Have had a really bad day, can't stop crying and I have to go tonight to stay with my mum as one of my sisters has been there for 24 hours. I don't want to go. It's so painful. I want to enjoy my time with her but can't see beyond the care, what she has become and so scared for the future. We have watched the deterioration for 3 years & done so much care for her and it's going to get a whole lot worse. I'm so tired. But I know that people on here are understanding and non-judgemental & kind so already feel supported. I'm sorry to hear about your husband. My best wishes go to you both. Thank you again. Take care.
     
  10. chick1962

    chick1962 Registered User

    Apr 3, 2014
    11,280
    Female
    near Folkestone
    ️ahhh so sorry you are upset bless. We all get days like this and get tired and bogged down . Do you get any support and help from Admiral nurse or carers support? They are really good and much better as adult social services ? Sending hugs xxx


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  11. RHCP

    RHCP Registered User

    Apr 3, 2015
    11
    Thank you for support. We have carers going in 3 times a day just for meals but we do everything else but really it's gone beyond the physical care - the emotional care is overwhelming (we also are the only people mum sees apart from carers). She is basically struggling with just getting in and out if bed and up from the chair let alone the AD. Meeting social services on Tuesday & looking at options. Many thanks for caring. I hope things are stable for you at the moment. Hope you have a lovely Easter break.
     
  12. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,593
    Female
    Dundee
    I'm sorry you're having a bad time just now. I hope the meeting with SS goes well.

    Sorry - I meant to say 'welcome'! My husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2001 and my mum had vascular dementia. She died 3 years ago. I know, like me, you will get lots of help and support here.

    Happy Easter to you too.
     
  13. CollegeGirl

    CollegeGirl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2011
    9,534
    North East England
    A warm welcome from me too, although I'm so sorry you are in this difficult situation and have been especially upset today. I well know the feeling of not wanting to visit and yet needing to. It's very hard.

    I hope - in fact I know - that you will get lots of support and advice here from the lovely members, so do keep posting!
     
  14. Quilty

    Quilty Registered User

    Aug 28, 2014
    1,056
    GLASGOW
    Hello and welcome. I hope TP gives you a bit of support and help when you need it.
    Im 4 years into my journey with my mum and the last 9 months have been a fast decline. We understand your tears. You are grieving for the Mum who is now lost and you are worn out trying to care for her needs and worried sick wondering what will happen next.
    What have i learned so far?
    Take one day at a time and dont look ahead. You cant predict the future and worrying will wear you down.

    Take all the help you can get. Preserve your energy.

    Full time care is not thr end of the world. My mum is in a dementia ward waiting to move. She is x10 better than she was at home and happier. It has helped with my guilt. If you find a good place you might be amazed but give it a few weeks to settle.

    Be kind to yourself. None of us are saints here and we get angry, resentful and selfish at times.

    Nobody here will judge or criticise but sometimes we will give a few home truths to help push people to do something.

    What you are doing as a carer is one of lifes hardest jobs. You are there doing it and thats enough for us. We are walking silently with you.

    You are never alone here. Reach out and ask for help. We are all in this together.

    Bigs hugs and a burst of positive energy to you. You are doing great by doing anything. Keep posting. Love quilty
     
  15. RHCP

    RHCP Registered User

    Apr 3, 2015
    11
    Thanks Izzy. Appreciate the support. Sorry about your mum and now your husband. Take care.
     
  16. RHCP

    RHCP Registered User

    Apr 3, 2015
    11

    Thank you so much Quilty, your post has brought on tears because of the accuracy of your words. Spot on. The roller-coaster of emotions is just overwhelming! Your post has also given me strength and hope. So thank you. Thank you very much. Take care and best wishes.
     
  17. RHCP

    RHCP Registered User

    Apr 3, 2015
    11
    Many thanks College Girl. Appreciate your support. Hope you had a good weekend. Best wishes.
     

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