Journey ends, journey begins

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by AJay, Apr 10, 2008.

  1. AJay

    AJay Registered User

    Aug 21, 2007
    Hi all

    My poor old Dad passed away very peacefully last night after a week long battle with heart and kidney failure. He was given 2 days to live last Friday but refused to let go - stubborn in life and stubborn in death! He was beautifully looked after by the staff in the coronary ward who made him very comfortable and happily he wasn't very aware of what was happening to him.

    I like to think that he's with loved ones and old friends and on his travels again, he's seen much of the world and told many entertaining stories of his adventures. I hope he comes to meet me on the road when it's my turn.

    I'll miss him so very much despite all our problems and traumas over the years, he's going to leave a huge hole in my life. I'm glad that the days before he fell ill again were spent laughing, he was starting to settle at his care home so I can rest assured knowing that he was starting to be happy again. I'm just so relieved that he's now dementia free.

    I'd like to carry on posting on TP, you've all been fantastic since I started to post last August (I think it was then!). Sylvia - I may bow out of the slimming club for a couple of weeks, my weight has dropped like a stone and I'm actually 2lbs uner my target weight just now. It'll be back though.

    AJay xxx
  2. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    near London
    Hi AJay

    my condolences for the loss of your Dad, but congratulations on your post - beautifully put.


    Please do.

    It is a difficult road you have been on, and you are on a new stage now, a stage that all of us will tread - and that many on TP have already been along. We all need help at some stage or another and your posts will help others as well as, hopefully, continuing to be helpful to you, too.
  3. Tina

    Tina Registered User

    May 19, 2006
    Dear AJay,

    so sorry to hear the news of your dad. He fought a long hard battle, but he will always be with you. Glad that the last days were peaceful and you remember the laughs and happy memories.
    Of course you will miss him, but he will be looked after again by family and friends where he is now, and it's good that you can find some comfort in that.

    Take care, my sympathy and condolences go out to you and yours.
    All the best, and keep posting
  4. desperado

    desperado Registered User

    Apr 7, 2008
    Lancashire England
    Hi Ajay, So so sorry to hear of your sad loss. I lost my father in December (died suddenly of a heart attack)so I think I know what you're going through. Make sure you get some nice biscuits to go with the endless cups of tea though !!!

    Thinking of you, take care of yourself.
  5. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    Dear AJay

    So sorry to hear the news about your dad. I'm glad it was peaceful at the end, and that he was well cared for. That must be a huge comfort to you.

    I'm glad you have the sound of his laughter in your head, keep that music to the forefront, happy memories are worth their weight in gold.

    Please take care of yourself, and post whenever you feel able. Your input has been valuable, and hopefully will be again.

  6. jack29

    jack29 Registered User

    Mar 8, 2008
    Dear Ajay,

    Your post is sorry about the loss of your Dad

    Thinking of you.

  7. SusanB

    SusanB Registered User

    Jan 15, 2008
    Hi Ajay

    What a lovely moving post and I'm very sorry to hear that your Dad has died.

    You're right, he's now free of dementia and is hopefully in a better place.

  8. Taffy

    Taffy Registered User

    Apr 15, 2007
    Dear Ajay,

    Deepest sympathy for your loss.

    I'm pleased that your dad's ending was peaceful and he was well cared for.

    He is free now and at peace, take care of yourself.

    Love Taffy.
  9. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Dear AJay.

    Thank you for your beautiful post.

    Please accept my deepest sympathy and sincere condolences on the death of your father. I`m sure like Mameeskye you too willl have no regrets.

    Please don`t worry about the slimming club. If you no longer need it to lose weight, please feel welcome to pop in from time to time to let us know you are well.

    And I`m so pleased you wish to continue posting on TP. You would be sorely missed.

    Take care
    Love xx
  10. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    Pleased that your dad is now free of dementia, and that your memories of him are happy ones.
    Do take care.
    Love Helen
  11. sue38

    sue38 Registered User

    Mar 6, 2007
    Wigan, Lancs

    I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your father, please accept my condolences.

    I was pleased to read that despite the battles you have had with your father in recent times, your lasting memory of him will be the laughs you were able to enjoy at the end.

    ROSEANN Registered User

    Oct 1, 2006
    Dear Ajay
    So sorry to hear about your Dad but glad you will have good memories of his last days.
    Take care Roseann
  13. Mameeskye

    Mameeskye Registered User

    Aug 9, 2007
    Dear Ajay

    Sending you love. I share with you your pain at this difficult time.


  14. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    NW England
    Well done, Ajay ..... my love and sympathy,

    Karen, x
  15. Linda Mc

    Linda Mc Registered User

    Jul 3, 2005
    Nr Mold
    Thank you Ajay for your very moving post. Your dad is now free and you can treasure his memory.

    Please keep posting, I often think those of you that have come to the end of this journey with your loved ones need us more than ever.

    Love and hugs

    Linda x
  16. CraigC

    CraigC Registered User

    Mar 21, 2003
    Hi Ajay,

    So sorry about losing your dad - know what you mean about the huge hole left behind. Hope you continue to find support here, I certainly do and am so glad to have somewhere friendly to check in.

    Thought I'd lose weight when mum passed away but I really got carried away comfort eating - too many easter eggs to take my mind of things.

    Please take care of yourself!
  17. gigi

    gigi Registered User

    Nov 16, 2007
    East Midlands
    Dear Ajay,

    I was so sorry to read about your dad..

    Your post was very moving..I'm glad when the time came he was well-cared for and peaceful,and that he is now, as you say, free from dementia and reunited with his family.

    Please take care of yourself..and stay with's good to have you around!

    Love gigi xx
  18. AJay

    AJay Registered User

    Aug 21, 2007
    Thank you so very much for your messages and support, once again I don't know how I'd get through this without you all. Voices of sanity in a mad world!

    Here I am, sleepless again and with a very sore neck and shoulder, sitting with a large heavy cat on my knee listining to the night birds - noisy devils.

    Dad - cup of tea eh?
    Me - yeah, cup of tea. Want one?
    Dad - yes love.
    Me - I think I'll pinch some of your painkillers while I'm at it.
    Dad - aye, will do you good love, I've got plenty.

    He's definitely here!

    AJay xxx
  19. Mameeskye

    Mameeskye Registered User

    Aug 9, 2007
    Hi Ajay

    The night birds..that is one of the things I listened to in the home last Friday morning, then I watched the sun come up on Mum's final day.

    I keep hearing songs on the radio and I feel that she is speaking to me, just as your Dad is to you.


  20. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    He will be with you AJay for as long as you need him. This is how they live on.......... hearts and minds.

    Love xx

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