1. JanetMargaret

    JanetMargaret Registered User

    Aug 13, 2007
    My mother is 78 years old and has vascular dementia. We are trying to come to terms with this and my father is finding it very difficult to care for her. He has recently had a heart attack and is waiting to go into hospital for an operation. My mum has a community nurse go to see her once a week to assess her but they do not seem to realise that she is going downhill rapidly. It was only talking to the alziemers society that we knew it could be that a water infection could make the symptons worse. We want Mum to be assessed again but don't seem to be getting anywhere with social services or her community nurse. Has anyone had this same problem and how did they solve it! Any information will be gladly received as we are new to how we care for my Mum, we just want her to be as happy as possible
  2. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    Hi JanetMargaret, welcome to TP.

    Your father must be finding it very hard to cope with your mother, it's hard at any age, but at their age it's even harder. A UTI will make things harder still, and they should certainly get in touch with their GP to get that treated.

    They should certainly be getting more assistance than they are getting.

    Your father should ring social services, and demand a re-assessment. He should also demand a carers assessment, everyone is entitled to this, though SS don't offer it unless you put pressure on them.

    Have you contacted the local branches of Alzheimer's Society, and Princess Royal Trust? Both of these will provide support, and will put pressure on SS for you.

    I do hope you manage to get some help, let us know how you get on.

    Best wishes,
  3. TinaT

    TinaT Registered User

    Sep 27, 2006
    Has mum got a hospital consultant who is in charge of her dementia? If so, phone his/her secretary as soon as possible and ask for a home visit. Explain the very difficult home situation and how worried you are about her decline. Then phone the social worker up again and tell her that mum must have an immediate assessment otherwise there will be an emergency situation which will be far harder for them to deal with. Best wishes and keep pushing xx TinaT
  4. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    #4 Margarita, Aug 19, 2007
    Last edited: Aug 19, 2007
    I've gone to my doctor who has in the past wrote to the memory clinic to get the memory woman out to do another memory test on mum in our home , who tell me that mum gone down to 10 on the memory test from 12 and they nothing more they can do , after medication dementia nurse that came around the year before referrals to social services who do the referrals to day -center set up care plan assessment, respite am left to get on with it .

    assessment are done yearly in my area by social services , if like your father I had to go to hospital I would ring up social worker tell her the date and she sort out respite.

    have you ask the community nurse to do a urine test , I only found that out also from TP , that can happen , but mum did not have a urine infection, just was a drop in the AZ , that why I went to doctor to get the woman from the memory clinic out , felt like confused . co . uk finding the right way around the system

    this year doctor tell me that he can't do anything if I have issue with SS assessment care home , only help getting community nurse to do they job, blood test , blood pursuer , urine test .

    how long a go was your assessment and what care plan is in place now
  5. Josh

    Josh Registered User

    Jun 24, 2007
    Hi JanetMargaret,

    It must be so hard for you all. You must be so worried about your mum, and with your father not being in good health it must be a such a worry.

    This may sound harsh but your dads first priority must be his own health, its so important he takes care of himself and gets some rest, easier said than done I know but he’s going to need every ounce of strength he has in the future.

    Social Services not being very helpful, cant say I am surprised, We had a nightmare dealing with them at first, it wasn’t until I came here to Talking Point that I realised you have to be firm with them or you’ll get no where.

    Keeping ringing them explaining your situation and demanding another assessment, do so to the point of becoming a damn right pain in their…. you know where.

    Is the GP on side ? Since we changed our Grans GP to our family Doctor the ball really started to get rolling is there anything he/she can do to help speed up the process of getting your mum re-assessed.

    Keep your chin up, if you need anything at all the people here at TP are always here, even if its just you venting and ranting (I do this a lot :D )

    Take care

    - x -
  6. JanetMargaret

    JanetMargaret Registered User

    Aug 13, 2007
    Thank you Josh, It feels so good to know there are people out there that care!
    At the moment my Mums doctors are going through a little bit of a bad patch. 3 doctors have retired and they have been using locums.Mums old doctor only comes in about 2 days so always difficult to get an appointment. thanks for the advice about social services I am about to become a right pain in you know where
    thanks JanetMargaret
  7. JanetMargaret

    JanetMargaret Registered User

    Aug 13, 2007

    Thank you all for your replies! I am new to this game and only saw the last relpy.
    My daughter found this site and I am so glad she did.Thank you all, I had such a bad day yesterday but feel more positive today!!!

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