"I've seen this before"

[supership]

My mother watches the latest part of an on going serial on the television, yet immediately insists she's seen it before. How do i get around this ? She's unable to say what happens but says she's seen it. Any advice please.

 

[karaokePete]

Hello and welcome @supership.

You won't be able to get around this. My wife is the same and it's just how their brain now works.

Simply agreeing or distracting will sometimes work. Reasoning or correcting etc., won't.

A few good tips can be obtained from this thread. Just click the link https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/threads/compassionate-communication-with-the-memory-impaired.30801/

 

[karaokePete]

In addition to the above, I hope you have time to take a good look around the site as it is a goldmine for information. When I first joined I read old threads for information but then found the AS Publications list and the page where a post code search can be done to check for support services in ones own area. If you are interested in these, clicking the following links will take you there

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you

You will see that there are Factsheets that will help with things like getting care needs assessments, deciding the level of care required and sorting out useful things like Wills, Power of Attorney etc., if any of that hasn't already been done. There is also a Dementia Guide in the list.

Now that you have found us I hope you will keep posting as the membership has vast collective knowledge and experience.

 

[supership]

Thank you for the welcome KP This is great

 

[Izzy]

Hi @supership and welcome from me too.

I just wanted to say that my mum was just the same. She had seen every single thing we put on TV for her! My husband was similar that he’d been every where in the world anyone mentioned and he had met every single person before!

Stay strong and keep posting!

 

[supership]

Thanks

Hi @supership and welcome from me too.

I just wanted to say that my mum was just the same. She had seen every single thing we put on TV for her! My husband was similar that he’d been every where in the world anyone mentioned and he had met every single person before!

Stay strong and keep posting!

 

[Baker17]

My mother watches the latest part of an on going serial on the television, yet immediately insists she's seen it before. How do i get around this ? She's unable to say what happens but says she's seen it. Any advice please.

I used to try and explain to my husband that we hadn’t seen things before but in the end it was just easier to agree, anything to keep the peace is the best way

 

[Shedrech]

hi @supership
a warm welcome from me too
when my dad did this, I cheerily agreed we'd seen it before then added 'but we enjoyed it last time so we might as well see it again as there's nothing else on ' or something similar, maybe 'oh, sorry, I missed it the first time, is it ok that you watch it again with me' or 'oh yes, we did see it but I've forgotten how it ends, let's find out' .... luckily dad was always one to want to please me so happily went along with me

 

[northumbrian_k]

My wife was the same. Anything new she had seen before but things we had seen many times she said she had never seen. I never found a way round it. It was easiest just to agree. Nowadays she has difficulty separating what is on television from real life.

 

[Granny J]

I feel so bad when i lie to my hubby he talks about his mam a lot she'll wonder where i am ,i dont know where she is, she'll go mad if i dont get back , i cant remember how old my mam is , ill have to get off to my mams , i usually say somthing like oh i think she was going to (wherever) he talks about his time abroad working as if it was yesterday but cant remember weve been married 37 years. im losing more of him every day but sometimes i see the old him its breaking me and im not sure i can do this

 

[LynneMcV]

Hi @supership and welcome.

When my husband used to do this I would say something along the lines of "oh, I haven't seen it yet, would you mind watching it again with me?"

Or "You might be right but I can't remember how it ends - shall we watch it again?"

He always agreed to do so.

 

[annielou]

My mum is the same, I usually just say hmmmm or occassionaly say have you is it good? She rarely has a definitive answer and sort of waffles, says she can't remember or just ignores it. There's not really much else can do. Very occassionaly now, but I used to do it more at first as I thought it meant mum wasn't enjoying program, I'd ask if she wanted to watch something else instead but she'd always say no, or I'm watching this, or something similar so I rarely bother now unless she keeps going on about it Mum will tell me that she's seen program before and then ask what just happened, or who someone is and I do think to myself, funny you've seen it before but don't know what happens or who one of main character is, but I don't say that to mum.

 

[canary]

Its because the part of the brain that assigned a sense of familiarity is not working properly. Sometimes it assigns a sense of familiarity to something new (so they think they have seen something before even though they cant remember what happened), or else it fails to assign familiarity to something that is actually seen regularly (so the person sitting in your room cant be husband/wife/etc, even though they look like them)

Best to be just non-committal and dont try to correct them