Its too much

[Shedrech]

hi canary
I'm sorry that your poor cat was in pain - I'm sure the vet did all they could so she simply went to sleep - you'll miss her and her feline ways

I'm glad to hear that your OH is fine and hope the recent hot weather doesn't get to him too

best wishes

 

[jugglingmum]

Thinking of you. So hard to make that journey.

Re blood pressure. I have low blood pressure. Readings lower than that. I do sometimes get dizzy when I stand up and need to sit down quickly.

 

[Tin]

Mixed feelings for you today, pleased oh is fine, but so sad to read about your cat. It is so hard, our pets give us so much joy, but then when the end is near we have to make that guilt ridden decision. Take care, belated birthday wishes, celebrate this weekend, nothing wrong with having two dates, for a few years I did, had a big birthday bash in July on the basis that the weather would be better, but official birthday is end of August.
Friends got so confused that for years after I would get birthday cards a month apart.

 

[HillyBilly]

So sorry to hear of the loss of your cat x

 

[LadyA]

What a time you're having, Canary. So sorry about your cat. Been there a few times, and it's an awful decision to have to make, even when you know it's a kindness.
Many good wishes on your birthday. I hope you're soon able to look forward to some brighter days.

 

[Bunpoots]

So sorry to hear about your cat. I know how heartbreaking it is to have to make that decision x

 

[canary]

There has just been too much loss. On top of the usual feelings of loss that come from my mums Alzheimers and my OHs FTD, there has been in the past 6 weeks, mums death and funeral, OHs stroke and my cats death too.
I dont think I can take it.

 

[jugglingmum]

Oh Canary - sending a big hug. You have had a lot to deal with in the last few weeks, not surprising you are feeling burnt out.

I can't remember if OH goes to daycare or if you have a sitter or if he can still be left -
but if not are these worth considering - even if for a few weeks - as you need some time to 'be' and grieve for your mum and cat.

 

[canary]

I wish there were someone around to give me a hug. I am so grateful for the online support here, but I would so like the actual physical touch. At one time mum and/or OH would have done so, but mum is gone and there is no emotional attachment from OH any more. Yesterday when I got back from the vets I sat down and cried for the first time since mums death. OH just looked at me and when I had finish asked when dinner would be. I dont even have a cat to sit purring on my lap anymore.

Today OH has had a massive epileptic seizure and is in bed sleeping it off. The house is deathly quiet. I tried putting the TV on, but just couldnt concentrate and switched it off again. I would like to go out and get away from it all, but dare not as he is very likely to have further seizures.

 

[Roseleigh]

Canary
Go out. Dont be a prisoner. Pop out for a hour to the shops or to see a friend or just have a walk. Your OH will be fine in bed.

You must think of yourself. Your OHs life is slowly drawing towards a close but you must LIVE!

And why dont you think about a new cat? A visit to a rescue centre to choose one perhaps?

 

[Murper1]

Dear Canary. With my Mum, Dad and brother now gone, I get a sense of panic feeling that they just aren't around to give me that unconditional hug and sense of security. I agree with the 'walking outside' advice, and also doing small, satisfying projects that you may not normally do. Is there a friend you could have coffee with or a drink in the pub?

For everyone struggling to keep their head above water - and there are lots of us - sending love.

 

[Tin]

Canary I am so sorry to read how isolated you are feeling. Is getting another cat out of the question? a kitten maybe.

 

[jugglingmum]

We did what Tin has suggested, when we lost our first dog, we had another one about 4 weeks later (we'd been to Turkey for a fortnight in that time) and when we lost the second of the 2 cats we had we got a pair of kittens within a couple of weeks.

Perhaps an older cat from a rescue might be a solution for you. Especially one that likes sitting on laps?

I realise it might not be the right thing for you now.

 

[canary]

Later on this morning a friend unexpectedly called round to see how I was doing, so I invited her in for a cup of coffee, which was nice. I really did have to stay in, though, as OH had multiple seizures today and I needed to be around as his usual pattern is to get up and immediately go into a seizure. I have spent many a happy hour or two rolleyes waiting in A&E for him to be stitched up where he hit something on the way down! Fortunately this time he has just got away with a bit of carpet burn on one cheek.

I probably will get another cat at some stage, but at the moment it all feels a bit raw. I have packed away her feeding bowls etc and given away the remaining food to a neighbour who has a cat. I need to come to terms with everything first, I think. Its just beginning to hit me that mum has gone.

 

[Grannie G]

Hello canary

Is there any way you can get a sitter to stay with your husband so you can get out for a while. Also do you have a local carers group? Having a sitter and finding a carers group might just ease your situation a little.

I might have missed some information here so apologise if you have already tried.

 

[Slugsta]

Oh Canary! Life can be so unfair sometimes and it seems that you have had one loss after another

I'm sorry that you had to say Goodbye to your beloved puss, I do know how hard that is - and I understand that it feels like the last straw for you.

Please be as kind to yourself as you can, anything that makes you feel a bit better is fine (as long as it is not actually illegal! ). I'm sorry that I can only send (((hugs))) of the cyber kind, I do hope your friend gave you some real ones!

 

[canary]

Yesterday was another day of seizures and I had to give him some rescue medication, but today he has got up, had some breakfast and is "working" on his android tablet.

His FTD seems to have advanced since his stroke, but I have been distracted by mums funeral (and aftermath) and by my cats illness and death. Yes, I will have to re-evaluate OHs condition and try and put things in place like a befriender, or a sitting service. I just wish I didnt feel so numb. I still havent cried for mum (or my cat, for that matter). My head feels too full and my heart feels too empty and I cant concentrate, so Im finding it difficult to plan or get anything done. Please tell me this will improve.....

 

[jugglingmum]

Sending you another hug.

I think the not feeling able to do things is normal grief, it isn't long since your mum died and a lot has happened since which you have had to deal with.

 

[Tin]

Canary I am thinking of you there on the South coast, hoping that things will improve for you. All that you are dealing with is just impossible to quickly snap out of. Maybe just concentrating on a sitter will be enough to start with.

 

[Hamster Wheel]

Sorry Canary

You're too busy trying to cope for things to hit yet. Be kind to yourself. Big hug.