It's not marriage, it is caring. My husband has small white vessle damage and took the neurologists diagnosis that it was average for his age to mean that there is nothing wrong. So when he explained in confidence to a friend why he is so forgetful he said that it is because he almost never listens to me - so I think that he has forgotten something but it is that he never heard it. I can't argue with this without insisting that he is ill, and I don't think that would be kind. I can't argue that I am not so boring that someone would rather be deaf than listen to me. So I am not behaving as I would have done, as a wife would do, which is pick up on this and argue it through, especially as it strikes at the heart of the relationship. Instead I grit my teeth and ignore it. And when he next doesnt hear something and doesnt meet me where we were supposed to meet and complains that I told him something else, I don't say anything. I believe I am doing the right thing: but I am not being a wife I am being a carer. I am not treating him as my equal, I am making allowances for him. And hiding that, as he would hate it so much. Does anyone else feel like they are behaving out of their own character?