I asked my GP for counselling because I knew I needed someone to talk to who understands... so far (3 months later ) I've had two sessions, but I think this forum may be more what I need; To talk to people who understand - and to people my age (early forties) who are seeing their parents change in ways so difficult and strange and scary. I don't like my mum anymore because she's not who she used to be.
We argue all the time.
She loses things.
I cry a lot. I'm supposed to be preparing for a job interview but I can't concentrate because a) I've lost the job description [things are always disappearing in this house] and b) I'm upset because she just came into the bathroom and used the detergent bowl you put in the washing machine as a glass to rinse her mouth as there is no glass by the sink. And she thinks it's ok, and "why didn't I do this, and why did I do that" blah blah blah.. it's like she argues for the sake of it and it doesn't make sense. I know I need to understand she is in a scary difficult place herself, but I can't cope with it.
She went away for Christmas holidays and I was left in her house - I cleaned it, kept it tidy etc. She came back this morning. I had anxious nigthmares preceding her return and now I'm in tears. The mess and chaos is returning and I can't handle it.
I know I need to get a job and move out ( I left my job and home in another County to help out - her husband also has Alzehimers and is in a care home now) and that is now my plan, even though I'm worried about her living on her own. I don't think she can look after herself but she doesn't want to live in retirement living.
What a long rant.
I don't want to be her carer. As I say I don't even seem to like her anymore. How bad is that!
Now maybe I can try and focus on my job interview preparation.
How do other people my age get on?
We argue all the time.
She loses things.
I cry a lot. I'm supposed to be preparing for a job interview but I can't concentrate because a) I've lost the job description [things are always disappearing in this house] and b) I'm upset because she just came into the bathroom and used the detergent bowl you put in the washing machine as a glass to rinse her mouth as there is no glass by the sink. And she thinks it's ok, and "why didn't I do this, and why did I do that" blah blah blah.. it's like she argues for the sake of it and it doesn't make sense. I know I need to understand she is in a scary difficult place herself, but I can't cope with it.
She went away for Christmas holidays and I was left in her house - I cleaned it, kept it tidy etc. She came back this morning. I had anxious nigthmares preceding her return and now I'm in tears. The mess and chaos is returning and I can't handle it.
I know I need to get a job and move out ( I left my job and home in another County to help out - her husband also has Alzehimers and is in a care home now) and that is now my plan, even though I'm worried about her living on her own. I don't think she can look after herself but she doesn't want to live in retirement living.
What a long rant.
I don't want to be her carer. As I say I don't even seem to like her anymore. How bad is that!
Now maybe I can try and focus on my job interview preparation.
How do other people my age get on?