On the roller coaster again. So, had call on Thursday from the nursing home that Dad was dying as his breathing had changed. What a hell of a day! Looking at him his breathing had slowed and stopped but then fast and shallow. Pauses getting longer. This was at 3pm ish. By 7 pm he roused becoming more alert and breathing back to normal, no other symptoms.
Don't get me wrong can only have quarter of a teaspoon of fluid and chokes, brings it back up. Mum is living in hopes saying they should feed him, they are scared he will aspirate as his choking is that bad. The home are out to keep him comfortable now. He is stripped of his meds so he is hallucinating because of the lewy body aspect and then I suppose also because he is dehydrated. He is reaching out at stuff. If he becomes more agitated then end of life meds. I have been terrible in myself watching Dad and then watching Mum. Horrible. What we went through thinking that was it, we are all going to have to go through that again. I just hope Dad wasn't in any pain, he appeared to be at the time quite settled. I love him with all my heart. My 3 year old has picked up on stuff and yesterday he was panic stricken because I wanted a lie down! He kept saying mummy won't wake up, he was downstairs with my husband and he kept saying it over and over, so no lie down for me! Dread the day when I do have to tell him, it will certainly be over the coming weeks, who knows. I asked the nurse how long you can survive in this state without sufficient fluids and she said weeks. Suffering it's not right. I want it to be over for dad to not suffer, but selfishly I am just dreading the other side. I hate this.
Don't get me wrong can only have quarter of a teaspoon of fluid and chokes, brings it back up. Mum is living in hopes saying they should feed him, they are scared he will aspirate as his choking is that bad. The home are out to keep him comfortable now. He is stripped of his meds so he is hallucinating because of the lewy body aspect and then I suppose also because he is dehydrated. He is reaching out at stuff. If he becomes more agitated then end of life meds. I have been terrible in myself watching Dad and then watching Mum. Horrible. What we went through thinking that was it, we are all going to have to go through that again. I just hope Dad wasn't in any pain, he appeared to be at the time quite settled. I love him with all my heart. My 3 year old has picked up on stuff and yesterday he was panic stricken because I wanted a lie down! He kept saying mummy won't wake up, he was downstairs with my husband and he kept saying it over and over, so no lie down for me! Dread the day when I do have to tell him, it will certainly be over the coming weeks, who knows. I asked the nurse how long you can survive in this state without sufficient fluids and she said weeks. Suffering it's not right. I want it to be over for dad to not suffer, but selfishly I am just dreading the other side. I hate this.
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