My first official job is over and it saddened me to the core and i seriously don't know if i'm cut out for carrying on. yes i've done the care of dementia/alzheimers with the kids for 14 years but boy it was hard. i got there and the lady was absolutely adorable i'm as soft as jelly and straight away looking at the lady you could tell she was energetic and agile apart from her memory. i got a few pointers of what's what and then my new dear friend started out the door and walked. we did that for three and a half hours until finally the wee darling was exhausted and started napping in the kitchen. i often say dementia is unique and i must admit i left after 4 hours doubting if i could easily place myself in an alien environment having to retrain to another persons wellbeing all the time being able to give the utmost RESPECT because to me that's what it's all about RESPECT. as i said earlier my daughter came with me and bearing in mind she grew up with dementia as we walked and walked she kept asking mum is this still for you, the lady is so different from gran, could you do this, are you tired? i think the reallity is this is something i am not going to take lightly, i feel passionate about sufferers and carers plights but as we all know it's a rocky path and strength and stamina and in my case humour is sometimes the key. i just hope that i can and will bite the bullet and try again and allow my mind to open to the fact that we are all individuals, different and maybe just waiting for that one smiley face that could brighten up our day. last thought due to my family circumstances when i was reflecting on saturday i wondered if i felt i had stumbled into caring from an early age due to my sisters and mums health then doubted should i continue. any thoughts would be so much appreciated. thanks for listening you startling people, i love this site.
It was so different to what i imagined
- Thread starter marchbank
- Start date
Respect
I'm not sure what to say except that I was very touched by your post and what you contributed in giving the carer freedom - they realised immediately you would cope, got their confidence.....I'm left wondering how do they cope with all that energy. I know it felt strange - but I think it went off very well - to top it all you gave her some great exercise!
I'm so glad you are going to try again. & it is lovely that your daughter came with you for support.
Well done you, Sue xx
I'm not sure what to say except that I was very touched by your post and what you contributed in giving the carer freedom - they realised immediately you would cope, got their confidence.....I'm left wondering how do they cope with all that energy. I know it felt strange - but I think it went off very well - to top it all you gave her some great exercise!
I'm so glad you are going to try again. & it is lovely that your daughter came with you for support.
Well done you, Sue xx
How many hours a week will you be doing?
Hi Marchbank, it sounds as if you did really well - basically went with what the lady wanted to do so you must have given her pleasure, freedom and RESPECT.
Your thoughts about caring from an early age brought back memories of my dear Mum. She was one of 4 and the youngest daughter. The other 3 left home and made careers for themselves but because my Mum was kind, caring and could bake egg custard tarts just how my Grandma liked them, she was told she had to stay at home and look after her mother. Whilst she carried this as a resentment all her life, I think it also gave her a value system. She just couldn't stop herself from taking care of anyone and everyone who needed help, be they recently widowed, be they elderly or be they recovering from surgery. And of course they received egg custard tarts too! So perhaps you are just one of those people.
For whatever reason, it sounds as if some lucky people will have you as carer. Good luck!
Your thoughts about caring from an early age brought back memories of my dear Mum. She was one of 4 and the youngest daughter. The other 3 left home and made careers for themselves but because my Mum was kind, caring and could bake egg custard tarts just how my Grandma liked them, she was told she had to stay at home and look after her mother. Whilst she carried this as a resentment all her life, I think it also gave her a value system. She just couldn't stop herself from taking care of anyone and everyone who needed help, be they recently widowed, be they elderly or be they recovering from surgery. And of course they received egg custard tarts too! So perhaps you are just one of those people.
For whatever reason, it sounds as if some lucky people will have you as carer. Good luck!
Marchbank,
Your post for me says a about us as a caring society. Many don't like to hear how it is. As an observer there have been times when I have spoken as I see it which upset some people.
During my wife's 11-12 years journey I came across three Physiologist. The first one I asked why he was in the line of work: "My mother-in-Law suffered with AD and I found it to be classed at the bottom of the heap in the NHS." It's just the way I am; like to know who I'm dealing with. He did stop me when he realized I was learning about him and family: "Hang on I'm supposed to be questioning you about your wife!"
It would take too long to go into all I learned from each of these experts. The last one I found most interesting. I was trying to explain what it must feel like as a vulnerable AD patient in the care of strangers. The most important question: how can a person with deep compassion work in the care 'profession' and not become emotionally involved? He told me that he'd worked in a NH as a young man and found that he could not cope emotionally.
One is either raised or born to be of a caring nature and such people enter the caring profession see it as a vocation and not just as a job. Sadly the only 'jobs' in our local newspaper are for carers; they can't get enough of them.
Your post for me says a about us as a caring society. Many don't like to hear how it is. As an observer there have been times when I have spoken as I see it which upset some people.
During my wife's 11-12 years journey I came across three Physiologist. The first one I asked why he was in the line of work: "My mother-in-Law suffered with AD and I found it to be classed at the bottom of the heap in the NHS." It's just the way I am; like to know who I'm dealing with. He did stop me when he realized I was learning about him and family: "Hang on I'm supposed to be questioning you about your wife!"
It would take too long to go into all I learned from each of these experts. The last one I found most interesting. I was trying to explain what it must feel like as a vulnerable AD patient in the care of strangers. The most important question: how can a person with deep compassion work in the care 'profession' and not become emotionally involved? He told me that he'd worked in a NH as a young man and found that he could not cope emotionally.
One is either raised or born to be of a caring nature and such people enter the caring profession see it as a vocation and not just as a job. Sadly the only 'jobs' in our local newspaper are for carers; they can't get enough of them.
think i was just filling a gap as the family were stuck
thanks for your replies they really help. there are no plans to sit with the lady again in the near future but i am grateful for the insight. i was speaking with my husband last night and remembered mums wandering oh so many years ago, the packing of the cases, her wanting her mum and it just does make you take stock and wonder how it must feel for them. you are so right padraig about professionals and how they cope, i remember taking mum to the opticians and could hear him roaring at her behind the door the wee soul just couldn't understand what he was telling her to do and from then on i was always at her side. i think i'll leave my quandry of where i'll land because fate has a funny way of taking over and hopefully i'll end up where i'm supposed to be. maybe we should all write a book, i'm sure readers would be hanging onto their chairs. thanks again, take care.
thanks for your replies they really help. there are no plans to sit with the lady again in the near future but i am grateful for the insight. i was speaking with my husband last night and remembered mums wandering oh so many years ago, the packing of the cases, her wanting her mum and it just does make you take stock and wonder how it must feel for them. you are so right padraig about professionals and how they cope, i remember taking mum to the opticians and could hear him roaring at her behind the door the wee soul just couldn't understand what he was telling her to do and from then on i was always at her side. i think i'll leave my quandry of where i'll land because fate has a funny way of taking over and hopefully i'll end up where i'm supposed to be. maybe we should all write a book, i'm sure readers would be hanging onto their chairs. thanks again, take care.
