I feel I cope fairly well with the repetition/memory loss/physical/practical aspects of caring but it’s mums total lack of ‘empathy’ for others - including me - that seems to be really getting to me.
Like ‘Do you watch such and such on TV?’ (coz she’s forgotten I go out to work or thinks the magic fairies come to do my housework when I‘m with her doing hers …… ) or not bothering to ask after her grandson … she only remembered my son recently when the home-visiting doctor pointed out his pictures in the living room….. same son whose School Fair I have neglected today because I was ‘attending’ to mum……
Now she’s complaining one of her friends never visits …… I explained said friend having chemo/radiotherapy would mean she barely gets out to see anyone…. ‘Oh, does it?’….
I know it’s HER world …. but it’s one I don’t like …..
I know I’ve been ‘losing the plot’ recently - on emotional and now on physical levels … she has no idea that I am effectively ‘running two houses’ trying to support her independent living as well as my little family’s semblance of whatever ‘normal’ life is…..
Maybe it’s just I’m hitting ‘exhaustion’, maybe it’s the ‘pressure’ of Christmas looming…. but before turkey and tinsel, wasn’t that all about being selfless, not selfish?
And I guess that's just me being selfish and feeling sorry for myself....
Sorry, just needed a little rant……
Karen, x
Like ‘Do you watch such and such on TV?’ (coz she’s forgotten I go out to work or thinks the magic fairies come to do my housework when I‘m with her doing hers …… ) or not bothering to ask after her grandson … she only remembered my son recently when the home-visiting doctor pointed out his pictures in the living room….. same son whose School Fair I have neglected today because I was ‘attending’ to mum……
Now she’s complaining one of her friends never visits …… I explained said friend having chemo/radiotherapy would mean she barely gets out to see anyone…. ‘Oh, does it?’….
I know it’s HER world …. but it’s one I don’t like …..
I know I’ve been ‘losing the plot’ recently - on emotional and now on physical levels … she has no idea that I am effectively ‘running two houses’ trying to support her independent living as well as my little family’s semblance of whatever ‘normal’ life is…..
Maybe it’s just I’m hitting ‘exhaustion’, maybe it’s the ‘pressure’ of Christmas looming…. but before turkey and tinsel, wasn’t that all about being selfless, not selfish?
And I guess that's just me being selfish and feeling sorry for myself....
Sorry, just needed a little rant……
Karen, x