1. DaisyG

    DaisyG Registered User

    Feb 20, 2006
    183
    North West England
    So, Husband on the road to recovery from pneumonia... been in the Neuro Assessment Ward for a few weeks now.

    I had a weird conversation with a new (been on hols) nurse today....

    She said ... "Your husband has just been telling me about his lovely New York trip... before coming here... " She went on to tell me the 'full elaborate made-up' story.....

    I said It's a shame that NONE of it were true.

    How on earth can the staff be assessing the neuro side of things when they believe the things my husband has been telling them?
    I've spoken to BOTH Ward Sisters about this.... and they say they have no way really of knowing what is true and what is not.

    How can we get a TRUE ASSESMENT?

    We also saw together the District Incontinence Nurse to talk about what we are going to need at home.
    He went off at a tangent, with the same story to the DN.
    She was amazed, as he sounds sooo believable.


    His 'stories' are so real to him.
    I'm beginning to be embarrased :eek: a lot. Sorry.

    He believes I/WE have all this money.... and I am holding it back from him

    He has made up a 'SUPER rich Uncle' .. left money etc.... Lives a life with Private jets.... airports.... limo's...

    The details he is able to give sound SO REAL.

    He is vanishing more and more before my eyes.
    It breaks my heart.

    Has anyone else had to clear things with nurses.. you know, tell them what he is saying is a load of rubbish?

    A funny thing...:rolleyes:
    For the last few days my husband has been commenting on one of his bed-bay buddies.
    "See that man over there (thinks he is speaking in a quiet tone)
    ..... he's reallly confused. I MEAN REALLLLLYYYYY."

    Take Care,

    DaisyG
     
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,661
    Kent
    Hi Daisy,

    Perhaps the reason the nurses repeat all your husband`s stories to you is to find out whether they are true or not.

    They seem to be trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, they can`t really disbelieve him without first checking and that`s just what they are doing, checking with you.

    We had a visit from an OT last week, sent by the psychiatrist. My husband lost it when she came and stormed out of the house.

    I told her I was pleased she`d witnessed this behaviour as I was worried the psychiatrist would think I was exaggerating. Whenever we see any doctors, he`s so respectful and amenable, and no-one else has seen him behave like this. She said I would definitely be believed. All medics take this behaviour with a pinch of salt.

    I hope that will make you feel less embarrassed about your husband`s `tall stories`.

    Love
     
  3. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,417
    I would think that nurses in this situation probably have to act as if they believe everything, while actually believing nothing. I realise that it's embarassing for you, but I'm sure that tall tales are the norm rather than the exception. After all "delusions of grandeur" are a pretty common presentation in these situations. Try not to let it worry you.

    Love

    Jennifer
     
  4. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    15,976
    Toronto, Canada
    Daisy,
    Don't be embarrassed. Your husband is simply filling in the gaps in his memories. Okay, there might be a little wishful thinking there but that's fine too. Try to remember it is the disease which is creating this behaviour. You and your husband have absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about.

    All AD patients seem to be able to put on great behaviour when at the doctor's. It does go with the territory. Good medical people understand this & go with the flow.

    Love
    Joanne
     
  5. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    Daisy, your post brought back so many "tall" story memories. Lionel thought he was a property tycoon, and that I had spent all his millions.

    Of course the staff will have to run them by you, as they must not dismiss everything he says.

    As for putting on a bold front with the proffessionals, the first time they sent the physios round to assess Lionel, he danced around the lounge like he was auditioning for the stage. They left, he spent the next hour slumped on the sofa, legs twitching and jerking (ahh happy days)

    Please don't be embarrassed, you are certainly not alone.
     
  6. Natashalou

    Natashalou Registered User

    Mar 22, 2007
    426
    london
    Making stuff up

    all this making stuff up is very very difficult. Un fortunatly, my mother does this a lot, but there is usually very malicious intent in her stories. Now, im not sure here if "intent" is really right as she probably isnt capable of thinkin through what she is saying and what the repercussions could be.
    She has of course an obsession with money being stolen but also she claims there are wild parties every night in her NH, that she is made to share her bedroom at night, there are russian spies hidden in the home and lots lots lots more.
    Even worse she makes accusations about being hit, pushed over etc.
    I dont believe her.
    but of course a tiny tiny part of me worries that something like that really will happen and I wont take any notice.
    Regrettably she is well beyond reasoning with and just says i am siding with "them" so I cant get anywhere by saying if she makes stuff up she wont ever be believed.
    Its very sad.
     
  7. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    My husband also makes up wonderful stories - so far none that any medic has 'believed' - they usually give me a knowing look - but then I have known the ones we have dealt with so far.

    I know when on the occasions he goes out with his ex colleague that he tells great stories - usually the truth comes out later when his friend and I compare notes later.

    I am sure that what the others have said is quite true - the nurses will be checking out with you and by now will have a fair idea what is 'grandeur' and what is likely to be true.

    Try not to be embarassed by it - (whow 'a private jet').

    Best wishes Beckyjan
     
  8. hawaii50

    hawaii50 Registered User

    My mum is a great "story" teller - they are quite incredible - I am amazed at where they come from.
    Last week she was assessed for a nursing home and I stood listening in the kitchen to what was being asked and the answers given - my jaw dropped in amazement - and even more so - like you say - they were believed!!! However I met the assessor in my sister in laws house a block away after the assessment and put her straight as to the what the real story was. My sister in law had been listening as well and so she had input from both of us - so I feel it was a fair assessment - but had we not stepped in !!!
    I am amazed that people who make up these assessments aren't aware how easily they can be duped!!!
    All I can say is that my mum lives in a world that sees and hears things I don't see or hear!! They are very real to her and the fabrications have become her life - maybe that's how they learn to cope with the fact they can no longer do things they once loved to do. I often say my mum is the main actress in her own adventure story and we are the audience!
     
  9. marlene

    marlene Registered User

    Apr 20, 2007
    26
    notts
    #9 marlene, May 16, 2007
    Last edited: May 16, 2007
    Even worse she makes accusations about being hit, pushed over etc.
    I dont believe her.
    but of course a tiny tiny part of me worries that something like that really will happen and I wont take any notice. natashalou

    i worry about the above problem too...my mum tells me that she gets hit, pushed and shouted out..of course i put it to the back of my mind..then when i leave her after a visit im never relaxed wandering all the time.. in my heart of hearts i know its not true as she makes up tales about what we ( her family ) has done to her. still very worrying though...love marlene x
     
  10. DaisyG

    DaisyG Registered User

    Feb 20, 2006
    183
    North West England
    Thanks everyone.....

    Thing is, the nurses RARELY check with me that what he is saying is a load of rubbish.


    I'm 'embarrassed' because he is saying 'not nice:eek:' things about me.
    He's insulting, and it hurts my feelings.

    When he says mean things to me at home (alone), I can cope a lot better... ignore it a lot more... Doesn''t bother me... so to speak.....

    In hospital... he's in a loop... and won't let things drop.
    He's saying I've been a terrible wife etc.... and have 'done things' (can't talk about that :eek: ).

    I know it's the illness talking.... I try to remember that.....
    In the company of others, this 'loose women talk' makes me 'uncomfortable'.


    Sometimes it's as though the nurses are not talking to one another, and passing on information...

    Thanks all,


    DaisyG
     
  11. Lila13

    Lila13 Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    1,342
    Grandeur

    When my mother was in the respite place the other guests were a Duchess, a Countess and a Prince Consort ... I think perhaps the fact that the home was divided into what they called "courts" may have started that idea.
     
  12. alfjess

    alfjess Registered User

    Jul 10, 2006
    1,213
    south lanarkshire
    tall stories

    Hi

    One of the stories my Mum came up with a couple of years back, was that a silent seeker (asylum seeker) called Plum Duff, came to visit her. He had lots of red hair and my brother had brought him, because he was a friend.
    As annoying as my brother is, I dont think he knows any "silent seekers"
    After that story whenever the family are talking about asylum seekers, on the news etc., they are of course referred to as, silent seekers

    Alfjess
     

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