Is this just bad behaviour or dementia?

[Dee R L]

Hi,
I am concerned about the worsening behaviour of my father in law. He is 74 years old and he has made some very odd decisions in the last 6 months, things that go against his previous character. He has become abusive to his partner and his son (my husband) who he previously had a close relationship. It has reached a point where both of them are on the point of walking away from him. Has he just become mean and nasty, and felt like this all the time but now just says what he thinks? Or could it be the onset of dementia. The only other sign is forgetting some of the things he said...but I personally think he says he forgets because it excuses his behaviour. There isn't a chance in hell of bringing it up with him or getting him to see a go. Any advice would be appreciated
Many thanks

 

[canary]

Hello @Dee R L and welcome to Talking Point.

I think any sort of profound change requires investigation and a sudden change to abusive behavour, meaness, nastyness and very bad decisions, could indeed be dementia. But it could be other things too.

I would recommend that you (or better still, his partner) keeps a journal of all the out of character things that he does and also to contact his GP with your concerns. Most people with dementia, unfortunately, resist going to the doctor and you may have to get him there by stealth - perhaps by going for some other reason and getting some tests done "while he is there". Most GPs dont mind doing this

 

[karaokePete]

Hello @Dee R L, welcome to TP from me too.

I second what has been said by Canary. What you have said is very common and it's often the case that a family member will have to ask a GP to call a senior relative in for something like a 'wellman' appointment where, armed with notes from the family, the GP can do required checks. This sometimes works because the older generation will obey the doctors request, even when refusing close family.

I feel the check is necessary as many things can present symptoms similar to dementia, but unlike dementia they are treatable.

You may be interested in reading an AS Factsheet about diagnosis and if you are you can find it by clicking on this link https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/sites...nloads/factsheet_assessment_and_diagnosis.pdf

Now that you have found us do keep posting and let us know how you get on.