Is this a serious thought?

[maryjoan]

OH has according to the doctor, " severe dementia " and is "incapable of living independently"

OH also has a stoma and bag which he does not understand and dislikes intently.

This has been out situation for two years.

In recent weeks, OH keeps saying he "feels suicidal", "Wishes they had let him slip away on the operating table", " feels like committing suicide"

How seriously should I take this?? - my gut instinct would be that he would not be able to work out how to commit suicide - but I could be very wrong.

I have suggested a visit to the Dr's, but he won't go. He is always as miserable as sin to be around and does not willingly talk to me.

 

[karaokePete]

When my wife was saying that a lot I mentioned it to the Consultant and that would have been reported to the GP.

The Consultant called her in for a second chat the day I mentioned it and decided to leave well alone as she was already on meds for depression and anxiety. She eventually stopped saying that.

If she starts again I will just report it again. I don't think that there is much else that can be done, unless the person isn't already on meds for depression/anxiety, when that would maybe help.

 

[karaokePete]

Just a thought Maryjoan, as the GP is aware of your partner's severe dementia maybe you should report the matter to the surgery. I know that in my region suicide is taken seriously so maybe a report would prompt a home visit or, at least, a prescription for some meds.

 

[Amy in the US]

I would also suggest you report this to the GP/surgery, just to keep them in the picture. I also wonder about asking for a medication review.

One idea to get him to the GP is for you to make an appointment for him and take him. Don't ask him if he wants to go and don't tell him he has an appointment, just do it. If he asks it can be an appointment for you. The surgery may collude with you on this. My experience with my mother has taught me that when asked, dementia always says no (and then sometimes gets annoyed) so it's easier for everyone to not ask, not discuss, not remind, and just get on with it.

Or you can ask the surgery to call him in for some sort of routine visit or paperwork check or NHS requirement or whatever he might accept.

Failing that, can you arrange a home visit?

My mother went through a phase of talking about wanting to be dead but she lacked the ability and means to do anything about it. I did report it to the doctors and with a medication change and/or time, she stopped talking about it. I don't know if it was a phase, a medication issue, a true expression of suicidal thoughts, general depression and anxiety (she has always had both), or something else, but it did stop. I hope you are able to get some help. Best wishes.

 

[Grannie G]

My husband was asked if he had considered suicide. He replied he had but didn`t have the guts.