Hi everyone, my mum is 85 and 4 years ago I moved her into my family home because she had stopped paying her bills and was confused. So after many consultations with a memory clinic they diagnosed her with Alzheimer's. Now my issues are that my mum has always controlled my life, and was extremely upset in her own home and didn't want to be on her own anymore (this was before she became confused) so as an only child when she became confused my only alternative was to move her in with me as she would not go in a nursing home. All was ok for about 3 weeks, then she wasn't happy with her room (she was in a single back bedroom overlooking the garden) it was too small with no view she had said, so my husband and I moved our king size bed into the single back room with a small wardrobe, the room is full wall to wall, this allowed her a spacious lovely front bedroom of her own with an en suite bathroom and a view of the cul-de-sac. Now I'm going to sound a dreadful person here but as time has gone on, she hasn't deteriorated at all, she is still the same as she was 5 years ago, some days she's having very clear conversations, and when she phones her sister she is never confused, never repeats herself and tells her she hates living with me and hates me, and the same with all her friends (who now don't speak time), but with me its like she plays on it, asking the same questions over and over again, telling me she's lost her purse or glasses, so I look everywhere taking me ages and she has hid it in her bra or tucked down her skirt, constantly feeding the dogs sweets and cake, to the point one was really sick for 5 days, saying she didn't know who my husband is and asking me how many male visitors have been this week to the house in front of my husband and is he my new boyfriend, throwing my bedding and towels away, she even threw her new nail varnishes and DVDs that were bought for her at Christmas in the dustbin 5 days after, luckily I found them before the bin men arrived as my daughter had noticed her Mrs Browns Boys box set missing when she had asked her put a DVD on. She won't eat anything I cook unless I supervise her eating, she gives it the dogs. Now recently I have noticed she hides her tablets in the side of her gum and spits them out when I've walked away throwing them in the bin or flushing them down the loo (who knows how long this has been going on), so now I ask to see in her mouth and she gets nasty asking why she had to take the yellow one (aricept) and that she doesn't need it, then in the next breath saying I've got that Alzheimer's you know. The problem is I'm literally at my wit's end with her controlling and unappreciative behaviour, I run about after her all day, making teas, toast, sandwiches, cakes, scones, taking her out to the shops, bring me this, get me that, wash my hair, put my rollers in, wash my clothes, is hard enough caring for daughter who is sick with Lupus without her demands, luckily my husband is very caring and gives me a reason to carry on, but I don't give him the attention he deserves as mum is just so demanding, the thing is she can do most things for herself but I feel she plays on her illness and I'm now asking myself is she faking it? Has anyone else had the same or going through the same?
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