I am not sure if anyone can help although I have seen a recent post about alcohol abuse and dementia.
My husband is 74 and has had several falls. In April, the scan taken at A and E showed brain atrophy advanced for his age, but in keeping with alcohol abuse. He then fell again in July, and ended up in a and e again and then was diagnosed with an acute on chronic hematoma and sent to a specialist unit then back to local hospital for a total of 2.5 weeks . He came out in august but is still drinking heavily, although he has cut it down to half a litre a day of vodka. My main worry is he is very forgetful. yesterday, he forgot he had taken his strong painkiller at 4pm and thought he had had it in the morning. (I monitor his blood pressure, lupus, gout and vitamin b tablets but he takes his painkillers as he needs them). He insists he is back to normal but forgot that the man from the brain injury trust has been out to see him in mid august. He also had a taxi to the hospital for blood tests but told them t take him to the chemist - fortunately it had been pre booked for the hospital.
My main issue is how to proceed. I did ask the consultant at the hospital if it could be dementia, but after brain surgery he said it wasn't the time to pursue. The doctor seemed to think prior to the hematoma that it was all down to the alcohol abuse. I have tried to get AA for him but had it turned down and am considering an appeal. Basically, I don't feel happy leaving him on his own. He has complained of dizziness and the 3 main risk factors for the heamatoma coming back are
being over 65
having had brain surgery
alcohol abuse.
#I found this on the NHS website.
I am terrified of him falling. He sleeps downstairs because he seems to have an overactive bladder and a bad cough. He also tends to sleep in the day, and whilst I am up at 6am and usually exhausted by 9, he is still wide awake. I don't sleep well due to his coughing and the sheer stress.
I can't get him to seek help for his drinking. His doctor thinks he has stopped and in fairness, when he came out of hospital he drank much less, but it went back up again. He is now trying to cut down again but I am convinced it is interfering with the medications and could actually be dangerous. If I try to talk to him he insists he is back to normal and I am overeacting. He also said some very abusive things when he had the heamatoma building up, and I am very wary, even frightened of him so dare not push him too far.
Basically I feel like a carer but unless he gets AA, I won't get any support. I am not sure if I am right about the dementia - but even last year, he was sleeping through oven timers and once when I came home had left the gas ring on. I don't feel able to leave the house and have only been out twice alone since he came home 8th august - both times to hairdressers, and both times worried sick.
I do at times doubt my instincts. He fell out with my doctor so has moved to a different surgery but I don't think I am allowed to discuss him with his doctor. In fairness, he now has let me come with him for appointments as he is quite deaf and struggles to hear what the doctor says. But I obviously dare not tell the doctor the amount he is drinking.
I just want to leave.........it isn't going to get any better. But we have been married for 22 years and most of it has been very happy but not the last few years.
Thanks for listening just needed to offload.
My husband is 74 and has had several falls. In April, the scan taken at A and E showed brain atrophy advanced for his age, but in keeping with alcohol abuse. He then fell again in July, and ended up in a and e again and then was diagnosed with an acute on chronic hematoma and sent to a specialist unit then back to local hospital for a total of 2.5 weeks . He came out in august but is still drinking heavily, although he has cut it down to half a litre a day of vodka. My main worry is he is very forgetful. yesterday, he forgot he had taken his strong painkiller at 4pm and thought he had had it in the morning. (I monitor his blood pressure, lupus, gout and vitamin b tablets but he takes his painkillers as he needs them). He insists he is back to normal but forgot that the man from the brain injury trust has been out to see him in mid august. He also had a taxi to the hospital for blood tests but told them t take him to the chemist - fortunately it had been pre booked for the hospital.
My main issue is how to proceed. I did ask the consultant at the hospital if it could be dementia, but after brain surgery he said it wasn't the time to pursue. The doctor seemed to think prior to the hematoma that it was all down to the alcohol abuse. I have tried to get AA for him but had it turned down and am considering an appeal. Basically, I don't feel happy leaving him on his own. He has complained of dizziness and the 3 main risk factors for the heamatoma coming back are
being over 65
having had brain surgery
alcohol abuse.
#I found this on the NHS website.
I am terrified of him falling. He sleeps downstairs because he seems to have an overactive bladder and a bad cough. He also tends to sleep in the day, and whilst I am up at 6am and usually exhausted by 9, he is still wide awake. I don't sleep well due to his coughing and the sheer stress.
I can't get him to seek help for his drinking. His doctor thinks he has stopped and in fairness, when he came out of hospital he drank much less, but it went back up again. He is now trying to cut down again but I am convinced it is interfering with the medications and could actually be dangerous. If I try to talk to him he insists he is back to normal and I am overeacting. He also said some very abusive things when he had the heamatoma building up, and I am very wary, even frightened of him so dare not push him too far.
Basically I feel like a carer but unless he gets AA, I won't get any support. I am not sure if I am right about the dementia - but even last year, he was sleeping through oven timers and once when I came home had left the gas ring on. I don't feel able to leave the house and have only been out twice alone since he came home 8th august - both times to hairdressers, and both times worried sick.
I do at times doubt my instincts. He fell out with my doctor so has moved to a different surgery but I don't think I am allowed to discuss him with his doctor. In fairness, he now has let me come with him for appointments as he is quite deaf and struggles to hear what the doctor says. But I obviously dare not tell the doctor the amount he is drinking.
I just want to leave.........it isn't going to get any better. But we have been married for 22 years and most of it has been very happy but not the last few years.
Thanks for listening just needed to offload.