Hi,
Haven't been on here a while so thought I'd better do another introduction.
My dad was diagnosed with vascular dementia in early October 15 and mum is the carer.
In 12 months nothing has been organised despite advising and guiding mum. She won't have anyone in to help saying she can look after dad, they are both aged 86, 87 next year. The house has got dustier and dustier and the toilets aren't a pretty picture, we clean them when we pop over and she always says its because your dad has been in there.
By looking at the loos as they're badly stained and dirty in the bowl we as a family know these toilets haven't been cleaned in a while. Urine stained at the front and also yellow stain on the floor and a smell of urine. I've spoken to her several times about a cleaner coming in but she won't have it. I've even offered to clean for her at the weekends but "no I haven't had time to do it". Myself, hubbie and 2 daughters have pussyfooted around for 12 months its now getting to the point where we have to 'do' rather than ask.
Dad not only has dementia, he has diabetes and mild angina and suffered an aneurysm back in 2010 which I think is where the dementia came in and the loss of hearing.
Rather than write down messages for dad mum shouts at him all the time and obviously he thinks she's telling him off as he has remarked often she's always shouting at me.
I have Social Services coming in to do an assessment tomorrow thank god. They offered help last October after dads diagnosis but mum said no thank you.
We don't think dad is getting his medication and we don't think they eat properly.
Its difficult to check on them during the week as we all work full time.
I have thought of being a carer for them but 1 it wouldn't pay enough for my bills and 2 they just wouldn't listen to me as their daughter. Dad is bad tempered and stubborn and so is mum.
Mum recently had a Memory clinic appointment and the Dr diagnosed her with mild dementia. She refused the CT scan so we don't have any evidence of full blown dementia.
Last year they had a leak in the kitchen and mum called the Fire Brigade. She tells me if my dad has a funny turn she'll call the Police! The problem is dad was the sole provider of dealing with the banking and all the paperwork, mum hasn't a clue and dosen't want to know. Only found out last week she didn't know how to write a cheque out so we went over on the Saturday and showed her how to do it.
Just recently have been through the solicitors to get POA for mum but having awful problems with the GP signing the paperwork for dad who is now approaching the severe stage of dementia and the Dr refuses to sign the paperwork (Deputyship) saying he has mental capacity but then in another sentence says he has vascular dementia.
It has been such a frustrating journey in the last 12 months, tears, illnesses myself, cold after cold, eczema you name it. Have been told its stress.
I have no siblings so all down to me although have supportive husband and 2 lovely daughters.
Just feel like scooping both my parents up putting them in a nice safe care home so they will be well looked after......in an ideal world anyway.
Dire journey so far but hopefully tomorrow something can be organised if only in the way of aids.
Sorry its lengthy but thought I'd give a brief outline of my story of this horrible disease and how its affected my loved ones.
Haven't been on here a while so thought I'd better do another introduction.
My dad was diagnosed with vascular dementia in early October 15 and mum is the carer.
In 12 months nothing has been organised despite advising and guiding mum. She won't have anyone in to help saying she can look after dad, they are both aged 86, 87 next year. The house has got dustier and dustier and the toilets aren't a pretty picture, we clean them when we pop over and she always says its because your dad has been in there.
By looking at the loos as they're badly stained and dirty in the bowl we as a family know these toilets haven't been cleaned in a while. Urine stained at the front and also yellow stain on the floor and a smell of urine. I've spoken to her several times about a cleaner coming in but she won't have it. I've even offered to clean for her at the weekends but "no I haven't had time to do it". Myself, hubbie and 2 daughters have pussyfooted around for 12 months its now getting to the point where we have to 'do' rather than ask.
Dad not only has dementia, he has diabetes and mild angina and suffered an aneurysm back in 2010 which I think is where the dementia came in and the loss of hearing.
Rather than write down messages for dad mum shouts at him all the time and obviously he thinks she's telling him off as he has remarked often she's always shouting at me.
I have Social Services coming in to do an assessment tomorrow thank god. They offered help last October after dads diagnosis but mum said no thank you.
We don't think dad is getting his medication and we don't think they eat properly.
Its difficult to check on them during the week as we all work full time.
I have thought of being a carer for them but 1 it wouldn't pay enough for my bills and 2 they just wouldn't listen to me as their daughter. Dad is bad tempered and stubborn and so is mum.
Mum recently had a Memory clinic appointment and the Dr diagnosed her with mild dementia. She refused the CT scan so we don't have any evidence of full blown dementia.
Last year they had a leak in the kitchen and mum called the Fire Brigade. She tells me if my dad has a funny turn she'll call the Police! The problem is dad was the sole provider of dealing with the banking and all the paperwork, mum hasn't a clue and dosen't want to know. Only found out last week she didn't know how to write a cheque out so we went over on the Saturday and showed her how to do it.
Just recently have been through the solicitors to get POA for mum but having awful problems with the GP signing the paperwork for dad who is now approaching the severe stage of dementia and the Dr refuses to sign the paperwork (Deputyship) saying he has mental capacity but then in another sentence says he has vascular dementia.
It has been such a frustrating journey in the last 12 months, tears, illnesses myself, cold after cold, eczema you name it. Have been told its stress.
I have no siblings so all down to me although have supportive husband and 2 lovely daughters.
Just feel like scooping both my parents up putting them in a nice safe care home so they will be well looked after......in an ideal world anyway.
Dire journey so far but hopefully tomorrow something can be organised if only in the way of aids.
Sorry its lengthy but thought I'd give a brief outline of my story of this horrible disease and how its affected my loved ones.
).
