intimacy
- Thread starter suzabell
- Start date
My OH lost his mojo about 3 yrs ago not long after being diagnosed, no interest what so ever, no affection only the odd cuddle in bed when he would put his arm around me and fall asleep, I suppose I'm lucky in as way as I seem to have lost interest as well but I think it's due to medication I'm on, but then again maybe not! I often think if someone showed interest in me would it all awaken again or is it gone forever thank goodness it's not a major thing in my life just now xxx
You have got your hands full. I hope you have support around you.Me too, i'm 46[/QUOTE
On a whim I logged on to TP and found this thread - it's something we've been struggling with. Husband aged 53 has YOD and I am 44. We havent been intimate for ages - I just feel like his carer now. He isnt the strong, confident man I fell in love with and it's so sad. He desperately wants affection and it would be lovely to keep that side going but I dont think of him as my partner anymore and I'm just done in each day keeping all the plates spinning and everyone safe. We also have two young children so just just as all my friends are reconnecting with their partners and re-establishing a social life I'm dealing with all that YOD entails. It's so isolating.
Thank you for bringing the thread up and letting me know others are down the same lonely road.
I find the intimacy confusing now. I spend all day helping him try to work out what is going on; that it is only us in whatever room we are in , including the bedroom. I just feel switched off most of the time. He suggests it the whole time. today he even started to imply it when we were sat with strangers at an open garden having tea.
We can't hold much of a conversation. Sitting in the garden today , as most days he starts on about all the jobs to do out there.he goes on & on. i eventually had to say 'can we just relax and enjoy the garden'. His obsessing is such hard work. He doesn't know our children who are young adults. He doesn't recognise his younger brother. it is such hard work. To make matters worse it seems that respite can't be planned. It always has to be done as an emergency.
my husband wouldn't go into day care to start with but now he goes quite willingly. that is a help. My mind has started turning to THIS IS MY TIME NOW. I have dedicated a lot of effort to him. i love him very much but I have ti find me now and start planning for my future life. so don't feel guilty if you have to do a mind switch yourself to cope with the childre and give them what you want to give them. It is so hard but we have to survive,
Suzybell xx
